Letters To My Missing Half

Underwater

Some days I wonder how I'll ever get to the end

Dragging myself through the morning

Waffling away my afternoon

In the evening I surrender to my lethargy

And wait for the night to take me back into its warm embrace

I suppose this is a lot like being underwater

Life continues in a blurry state above me

I could kick

I could scream

I could meet them at the surface

But I would rather stay down here

I used to be one of the living on dry land

But life happened too quickly up there

So when the waves came to greet me

I let them escort me all the way down

I can't live and I can't die

So I float and float and float

Rock bottom looms ever so near

And I'm tempted to let myself fall towards it

If only to begin rising again

When I was younger I thought a lot about Love

I thought it would save me

That you would save me

In my dreams life was finally worth living

If only I could find someone to live for

But I know now that you don't exist

And I must admit

That hurt me more than you could ever know

I wanted to surrender myself to Love

Instead I gave my body to Grief

Either one would have cut my soul away

And poured itself inside my living body

Perhaps it was the wrong choice

But it wasn't me who made it

Life picked for me

And then forced me to keep living

I can't live and I can't die

I want to start living but I really want to die

So in the meantime

I float and I float and I float