How to Switch a Life

Merideth is dea....

Amelia was at home with Derek's kids. Derek was in the hospital waiting room just sitting there looking at his shoes. He felt sick. He ruffled his hair and took a sighed, standing up to enter the hospital room.

Derek felt brain dead himself as he saw Mer laying there. All the thought and emotion overwhelmed him to the point he wasn't even Derek when he was loosing her.

He sat down next to Mer as the nurse got ready to unplug the machines. With his heart in his throat he reached to move her hair out of her face as he's done millions of times before.

"Mer, I love you so much." he cried "and I can't live without you." derek sobbed harder now.

He suddenly buried his head into the bed. It felt like he couldn't breath without her.

"Derek."

Derek's head shot up.

"Meredith"

He grabbed and kissed his wife. He couldn't belive it.

"I'll never let you go again Mer it's you and me till we are 100" Derek pleaded.

"Oh Derek." Mer said. "I'm so sorry, tell the kids I love them. Most of all I love you and I know it took ne a while to get there but I love you and our family and everything we are. I'm gonna miss you."

"But Mer you are awake." Derek asked confused.

"Derek your a professional, you saw the charts. You know this isn't possible." Mer explained.

"But.." Derek almost stuttered.

"Dr. Shepherd!" "Dr. Shepherd." the nurse cried "Are you ok?"

Derek slowly woke.

"You had a slight panic attack Dr.Shepherd, are you doing fine?" the nurse asked

"Yes yes can u just give me a second." Derek spit out

"With your hyperventilation I don't know if that's sa.."

"Just please." Derek interrupted

"Yes Dr. Shepherd." the nurse gave in.

"I will take care of them Mer. I know you love me, and god knows I love you." Derek said as he felt his fingers on his wife's cheek. "Go take care of Lexi, and tell Mark I said hi. I'm sure you're mom will finally let you know how proud she is of you, for not getting distracted and standing your ground. I'm so proud of you."

"Hey Derek." Alex said as he walked in. For a second Derek forgot he called him.

"I'll give you some time with her." Derek choked out with tears falling through his eyes.

With his face red he walked out to be greeted by Weber. He reached out to hug Derek. Derek accepted , he felt weber falling apart in his arms.

"Are you in contact with your sponsor Richard you are gonna need it."

"Yes Derek I am." he casually answered as he looked off. "Meredith, I've watched her since she was a kid I-" Richard looked at Derek knowing it wasn't the time. "I'm sorry Derek."

"Me too." Derek choked out. "I need to get some fresh air."

He got on the phone and called Christina.

"Derek, I, I don't know what to say." Christina said as she answered.

"You were her soulmate." "I wish you could be here and I want you to know I want to wait for you we just..can't."

"Derek I know. Look i have to go. I'm sorry." Christina choked out as she quickly hung up.

From experience Derek knew avoidance was all she knew. She was his family and he hoped she was ok, yet at the same time he wasn't ok himself.

He walked in to see Weber, Alex, Bailey, and Maggie all in the waiting room.

"We all said goodbye Derek.." Bailey said.

"So it's time then." Derek said bluntly.

They all walked in to the room, to watch. It was over.