𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐲𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐧 𝐄𝐲𝐞

𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

Unbeknownst to Toby and Y/N, trying to get clean via the cold turkey method was probably the worst collective idea they've ever followed through with during their entire companionship. Essentially, they're trying to preform a medical detox on their own. Their version of the detox looks like Y/N staying in bed, eating nothing but healthy foods and flushing her system with plenty of water. In hindsight, it would have been smarter to go to a hospital and let professionals take care of her, but because of the insanity that is the American healthcare system, they simply could not afford it.

Today is the 4th day of being clean and Y/N has realized this is her personal hell. Day 1 was alright, surprisingly. She just felt a little uneasy knowing that she would not be taking drugs anymore but it was nothing more than just a little anxiety, until she woke up the next morning. Day 2 started off with a bang. Overwhelming dread came over her senses the second she opened her eyes. This is due to coming down off of the copious amounts of meth in her system.

Oddly enough, extreme hunger is a symptom of Methamphetamine withdrawal. Her extreme famine started early this morning around 6AM, when she rushed to the bathroom to throw up. She was so sick with hunger after not eating hardly anything for the last 5 days. Nothing but bile came up, burning her throat. Her stomach felt torn and knotted. This awoke Toby and he tended to her without a complaint, holding back her hair as she continued to retch then tucking her in again after getting her a drink of water, which she hardly was able to keep down. Once she was asleep and under a few blankets (she developed the chills after throwing up), Toby got himself ready to go out into town, taking some cash with him.

He headed off to the grocery store, buying about $60 worth of food which should keep the two of them fed for a week and half at least. He bought foods that he figured were healthy, like fruits and vegetables, whole wheat bread and foods with lots of carbohydrates. The place also had a deli area and they had ready-to-eat hot meals so he bought 3 chicken soup bowls. Their humble abode didn't have a stove, just a mini fridge and a microwave so it would be difficult to cook anything.

Y/N has only been using meth since just very recently, opting for coke prior to that. She found the new substance in Trevor's old bag, and once she did it, she was hooked.

You only need to use methamphetamines once or twice to become a fiend for it. It's highly addictive because it increases the amount of dopamine in one's brain. Long-term meth use leads to loss of dopamine receptors in the brain, or in simply terms: the brain's ability to feel happy (without substances) is damaged. Lucky enough for Y/N, she will likely not experience what many meth users do, a condition called anhedonia. Anhedonia is characterized as loss of ability to receive pleasure (or be happy). A recovering addict may remain in this depressive state even after 2 or more years of being clean.

Currently, she's laying in bed waiting for Toby to come back, watching the time pass on the digital clock stationed by her bed. 9AM. He should be back soon, she figures. Withdrawal from meth also causes some pretty wicked headaches and poor Y/N is suffering from an excruciating one right now, centring behind her eye sockets. The light in the room is irritating and any small sound makes her feel entirely worse. The small springs in the mattress creaking each time she moves sound like screeching children so she doesn't bother disturbing them by getting up to close the curtain.

Speaking of annoying noises, the front door bursts open to reveal Toby struggling with 6 bags of groceries. Y/N grimaces, pulling the blanket over her head, whimpering 'shh...'. And she's out again.

After the groceries are away (hardly fitting in the mini fridge), Toby brings the soup to Y/N, shaking her awake.

"Here's some soup, eat this. You'll feel better." He insists.

"Feed me?" She mutters, lazily staring at him. He nods before taking a spoonful and bringing it to her lips. Toby waits a while after she takes the first bite to see how it will settle in her stomach. She seems okay so they continue until the dish is empty.

Toby puts it away before coming back to check on
Y/N.

"I feel like I'm dying. I always thought I'd die young, although I was hoping to look pretty when I go. . . but I haven't showered in 3 days and some of my hair is falling out. This isn't what I wanted." She complains dazed and confused. She's certainly right, Y/N isn't very pretty right now but Toby knows she'll recover. He's trying to stay optimistic.

"You're gonna live." He reminds her, "You should sleep."

"Lay down with me, aren't you tired?" She inquires, advising that he rests too. He is tired. Manic depression takes every ounce of energy out of a person until they're nothing but an empty body with no spirit, just aching bones wrapped in skin that need a break. He doesn't hesitate, instructing her to make room for him. Toby feels like shit knowing he's not doing all he can for Y/N while dealing with bipolar. It's debilitating.

They lay there in tranquility, only the sounds of their breathing is heard. The stillness makes Toby's mind start to wonder while it's totally free of any distractions. Something that's been on his conscience for a few days is the kiss they shared the night they had a fight. It was the first time Toby had ever kissed a woman. Y/N didn't know that. Neither of them had spoken of it the next morning, or ever again honestly. It's beginning to trouble Toby, he's confused as to what that meant. Y/N seems as though she's completely forgot it happened at all.

Y/N shifts onto her side, facing Toby who's laying on his back, eyes shut. She slings her arm around his waist and rests her head against his shoulder, taking in his masculine fragrance, a very subdued and natural scent. She must think he's asleep.

Toby huffs out a breath, annoyed. Then his eyes falter to the bag on the floor by door, Trevor's bag.