Blood of Eternity

Young Blood

5 Months Ago...

"Have you noticed any changes about yourself like your thoughts, feelings, or actions?" Dr. Morris asks. I fidget in the cream couch across from the matching sofa she sits on. I nod and continue examining the room. There's a small black chest by the door with a clock above it; only 50 minutes until I can leave. "Can you elaborate please, Miss Evans?"

"Umm... I can't really sit still." There's so much more I can't say but I don't want to be locked up in mental hospital for the rest of my life. There's the feeling of perpetually being watched, the kind that makes you look behind you whether you're in a crowd of students at school or walking alone in your neighborhood. It makes you feel you ants are continuously crawling up your back.

"Do you have a sense of hypervigilance which is a state of increased anxiety about danger?"

"Yes." Especially during the day. I try to avoid being alone in patches of sunlight. It brings me back to what happened right before the attack. I used to think horrific crimes only happened at night when attackers could lurk in the dark to prey on unsuspecting victims; now I know it can happen at any time. Instinct tells us the night is terrifying but recently to me its dark wings can shelter, give a place to hide, to have a reprieve from the day.

"Your mother tells me you only get two to three hours of sleep and make up for it in class." Dr. Morris clicks her pen repeatedly on her wooden clipboard.

"Please stop." I give her a tight smile when she does. "I don't think my sleeping habits are any of your business. Does anyone have exact times they sleep? Do you?"

"You are evading the question Miss Evans." Her tone takes a dive from pleasant to clipped.

"So are you." For a moment, we have a staring contest. Dr. Morris takes a deep breath and returns to her questionnaire.

"Do you remember the details of the attack still?" I stop fidgeting and look at the floor. "You said you thought your boyfriend...Roman? Found you and your attacker but the neighbor called 911 after hearing screaming."

"I was delusional. He wasn't there," I lie. When I recounted my story to the police, after recovering in the hospital, I told them he wasn't there because I wasn't sure if my memory was tricking me; since then, I can see everything in that memory with perfect clarity. I even notice things I didn't notice in the moment. I can smell Roman's woodsy cologne he always wears and the Tide Non-Allergenic detergent his mother washes everything in because his little brother has a skin condition. "And I don't remember the details anymore, it's pretty vague. I'm only human."

Dr. Morris doesn't have time to ask another question when my phone vibrates in my jeans pocket. Mom sent me: waiting in the car outside.

"I've got to go, good bye." I rush out the door and pull up my black hoodie so the sun doesn't scorch my skin.

3 Months Ago...

"It's been two months since I've seen you Olivvia." I glower at Dr. Morris.

"Let's get this over with." The office hasn't changed at all since I've been here except for new black curtains covering an entire wall and an apple Febreeze scent permeating the air. She flips through her note book pages until she finds one near the back.