The Space Between

Chapter 10

The car was quiet, too quiet.

I'm used to quiet, especially considering how quiet I am in general. To be fair, I was taught to be quiet, it was not a choice in any way shape or form. Over the years however I have learned there are three types of quiet. First is the peaceful, commonly self-inflicted quiet. It can be relaxing and exhilarating to experience that quite. I have found that many pursue that quite but few obtain it, I myself included.

The second is the quiet of feeling alone either physically, mentally, or both. This quite hardens the mind and freezes the soul, while many choose this quite, preferring it to the noise that could surround them; however, I and many others are not given a choice merely forced by numerous situations to enter that silence.

As for the third, this is the one I am experiencing right now, a noisy quiet. This is a quiet that occurs despite the sound around you. A quiet that leaves you uneasy, shuffling in your seat. A quiet that occurs with sound around you, any sound from breathing to a rock and roll concert. It makes you crave the end of the quiet and yet once it does you only wish for it to never have left.

I find myself in this noisy quiet as I sit shuffling on my leather seat, my seatbelt chafing my neck. Daxton sits across from me, completely passed out and rivaling a chainsaw in both pitch and volume. Carter is staring intently at his phone where, based off the cocky smirk glued to his face and squirming in his seat, is in a heated discussion with a significant other. Connor is seated with both sunglasses drooping along his nose and headphones blasting some k-pop song from the sound of it. Alexander is typing furiously on his computer, a complimentary champagne glass provided by the limousine company in hand. My Father is seated on the other side of the glass divider with the driver, and from the blurred sound echoing through the vehicle, he is yelling at someone over the phone.

This leaves me in a noisy quiet, left to my own devices, my own boredom, my own thoughts. A quite dangerous situation I have no way to avoid.

My mind, left undistracted or undeterred, it will drag my through the worst of memories and lead to the worst of thoughts. So instead I tap my fingers along my thighs, matching the beat of the song faintly sounding from the front of the vehicle. I watch as we get farther from the city into a more rural area. We only pass by a few small towns and some run down warehouses as the car drives along the bumpy, pothole-filled road. As the car shakes my hands come to clench the leather seats, not wanting to disturb Alexander and Connor, who are seated on either side of me.

As the car jolts I watch Daxton slowly awaken thanks to the harsh movement. He slowly glanced around before sighing quietly, as if the past few days events all came back to him. Sitting up I watched his gaze travel the length of the vehicle before coming to rest on me.

I looked down, avoiding his gaze, a gaze that is now burning holes in my head. The sudden touch of a hand on mine made me jump and look up to see Daxton with his hand reaching out, eyes pleading. I knew he was worried, afraid I was angry at him for his outburst; however, it was just the opposite. The only person I was angry at is myself. Angry at my actions, angry that I worried him, angry at myself for stressing him out, and so many other reasons.

So instead of letting him worry that I'm mad at him, I merely smile and mouth, 'I forgive you.'

'Really?'

"Yes But you-u do k-know tha-" I begin to explain, my volume rising.

"We will talk later." He mutters with a squeeze to my captured hand, reminding me to stay quiet so as to not draw attention from our distracted... well I suppose the word I'm looking for is brothers.

I only nod in response before looking down at our hands intertwined together. His thumb gently traced my palm back and forth before tapping my hand causing me to look up.