Monsters & Men • A Spencer Reid Fanfiction •

CHAPTER TWELVE

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra just for you."
Philip Larkin

Phoebe gasped awake, momentarily confused.

Am I in danger? Where am I? What happened? Those were usually the top three questions that bounced in her brain when she woke up, even if she had gone to bed in her own apartment, safe and sound. She was never certain of what could happen when she was unconscious.

But her eyes took in her surroundings, noting the cold temperature in the room, the metal cabinets, the harsh fluorescent lights and the tables filled with children.

Wait. Children? I was examining bones.

She looked again, and there they were. The ten bodies. Decomposed, but not fully. She could still see the yellow, leathery skin and clumps of hair. What she didn't expect was for the bodies to start moving. The limbs stretched out in slow, grotesque fashion, making Phoebe jump out of her seat. The heads swivelled towards her, as if they locked onto her as their target. And their mouths opened into a silent scream. and she pulled out her gun, taking aim.

The sound of the bullet ricocheting met her ears, and she gasped awake again.

She was at the same desk.

In the same room.

But when she glanced at the tables, all she could see were bones, and a sigh of relief escaped her lips. Just a dream. It was just a bad dream, Phoebe.

But movement caught her eye, and she turned towards the window, her eyes widening in horror. A man was grinning at her through the glass, waving a hand that held a gun. And it wasn't just any man. He's found me. Oh god. I need to call Prentiss.

Phoebe pulled out her phone, but when she unlocked the screen, it remained blank. What? That can't be right?

And then she woke up again.

At the same desk.

In the same room.

"Oh good, you're awake. I got us some coffee," a voice said from behind her.

Phoebe turned, not knowing what to expect, and she saw Reid standing there. Two steaming cups of coffee in hand like he'd said. His purple scarf wrapped snugly around his neck. The smile dropped from his face when he noted the haunted look in Phoebe's eyes.

But Phoebe couldn't focus on Reid. She was scrambling for the papers on the desk, moving aside the sketches of facial reconstruction she'd made of the victims. And then she found it. A seemingly random flyer. Bills's Burgers! New branch opening near you!

She could read the words. Okay good. And then she began to count her fingers. Making sure she had ten.

Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten.

Ten.

Ten fingers. Okay.

Clock. Look at the clock.

She sighed in relief when she could read the time, too.

"You're checking if you're awake," Reid said, noting her behavior. Phoebe wasn't surprised that he knew what she was doing. "Counting fingers. You have extra fingers or toes in dreams. And reading. Usually you can't read in dreams. What happened?"

He placed her coffee cup on the desk and sat down next to her. His tone of voice wasn't demanding, but his eyes told her that she couldn't change the subject or lie to him this time.

"I-I had false awakenings. A nested dream," Phoebe said thickly, her eyes stinging. "I've had them before. Multiple false awakenings at once. Making me feel like I'm not gonna wake up."

It was the scariest thing in the world to be trapped in a nightmare and feel like you couldn't get out.

"I meant," Reid said, leaning a bit closer to her and looking at her right in the eye. "What happened to cause your post-traumatic stress syndrome?" Reid paused when Phoebe's eyes widened. He couldn't tell whether it was from shock or fear. Maybe both. She's surprised I deduced it, and she's scared to talk about it.

"You've been showing signs of it since we first met. You had trouble sleeping on our first case which is why you fell asleep in the car when we were riding to the precinct. You're always easily startled when someone touches you or when you wake up. You're always on guard and alert for any danger or for signs of vulnerability. And now, you're telling me you've been having false awakenings and nested dreams, which are a manifestation of anxiety," Reid explained, pointing out the logic behind his deductions on her behavior. And behavior didn't lie.

But one thing that didn't have any logical explanation was the way his heart squeezed when Phoebe's eyes filled with tears, and she looked away from him.

"I- I don't think now is the right time to talk about it," Phoebe murmured, still not meeting his hazel gaze. If she did, she wasn't sure she'd have the strength to resist him. "We've got to focus on the case."

"But its something about the case that's triggering you," Reid pointed out, not letting her win the argument this time.

Phoebe knew Reid was right. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. She thought she could handle herself, but after all this time, the ghosts haunting her seemed all too real- but that didn't mean she was going to let it stop her from doing her job. 

Clearing her throat, she gathered the sketches she was able to work on before falling asleep. "We need to send this to Garcia. Maybe she can run it through a missing person's database," Phoebe pointed out, handing the compiled sketches to Reid. 

Reid took the papers she handed to him gently, noting the way her hands shook. She was trying to be strong. He knew because he saw the same look in her eyes that he did whenever he was looking in the mirror. And he knew that no matter how much he tried, she wasn't going to talk if she wasn't ready. 

"Alright," Reid agreed quietly, getting ready to fax the papers to Garcia. He was about to get up when his phone rang. 

Phoebe met his eyes as he fished his phone out of his pocket. "Hey," Reid answered as Hotch's name flashed on the screen. "You're on speaker." 

"Good," Hotch replied. "Witnesses saw someone revisiting the crime scene and security footage tracked him to an abandoned warehouse near you guys. I've sent Morgan and JJ as back-up, but you're the closest." 

Phoebe and Reid were already gathering their things before Hotch could finish speaking. They were out the door as Reid replied with "On our way." 

There was no time for conversation after that as the two of them rushed to the vehicle. Phoebe was in charge of navigating them towards the coordinates that Garcia sent while Reid surprisingly steered the car with ease despite their fast speed. 

The tired skidded to a halt as the warehouse loomed above them. It had barely taken them five minutes to get to the place, but Phoebe felt like even that had been too long. The UnSub could've been here and gone already. With her heart pounding in her chest, she got out of the vehicle and met Reid at the front, their guns at the ready. 

This is it.