Two Loves

Chapter 41

The plot-twists are coming and they still don't stop coming

CYMBELINE

Ada gets the rest of the information we need out of the poor policeman. Then she takes me by the arm and drags me to her carriage. Her anger seems to be forgotten. I'm strangely glad for it, because I cannot think straight anymore.

All that matters now is the poor damsel in distress, who is being held in a police station just a few districts away. On our way there, I tell her how we had a fight last night. I can already see how her brain is working. When we stop at a cross-road, Ada suddenly perks up from her bench.

"We have to tell Atticus" she says with wide, round eyes. I resist the urge to spit on the floor.

"He's the reason for all of this, don't you remember? I don't think that he could help us."

"No, you don't understand" she says and reaches out to lay a hand on my knee, but then stops in the air and draws back. It aches.

"Atticus is the only one of us who still has money at his fingertips. If Isaac will be brought to court, you need a lawyer. A good one. And he has contacts and friends who could help you to go through this - well - unscathed."

I hate that she is right.

It pains me. Yesterday I was yelling at him that he cannot buy me and that he uses his money to clean his reputation, and now I shall come begging him to do this? I would rather boil myself.

"Cymbeline" Ada says softly. "Believe it or not, he loves Isaac. Don't make this about you again."

That last remark is a real pinch into my eye, thank you.

"He doesn't love him" I spit back. "He just acted like that. If he would have loved Isaac, he wouldn't have hurt him."

"Just because it seems as if he was lying to him doesn't mean that he did!" she shoots back. "He never wanted to hurt him. Trust me."

. "Ha, can I?" My voice is harsh and bitter and Ada draws her shoulders up immediately.

I'm sorry. I want to say it, but I know that she wouldn't believe it. I'm sorry. For everything I did, but mostly for the times I didn't listen. I'm sorry for thinking that I am the main character when I was just the loudest.

Words are good. But they don't help me here.

"Hf. Fine" I mumble, and Ada nods and opens the door of the carriage. She knows when she can focus on her feelings and when not.

A minute later, a messenger is on his way to Atticus. Let's hope that he is at home, listens to Schubert and cries into his golden sofa-pillows, or something pathetic like that.

"Cym, you are trembling."

Of course, I know this. My whole body is shaking, my soles patter a mad staccato on the floor-boards of the carriage, and tears drip down my nose in irregular periods. The thing is, I knew that something like this would happen someday, but I didn't want this to happen at the same time with a dozen of other problems. And I didn't expect that, in the sight of the catastrophe, my brain shuts down completely. I cannot think. Ada looks out of the window, saying nothing. There are not even two feet of distance between us, but it feels like the distance between a dog and the moon.

"We are there."

Ada hands me a handkerchief. "Dry your face. They won't respect a hysteric woman" she says firmly. "Be polite. If you don't want to talk, I will do it."

And if there is something I am good at doing, then it is to pull myself together. This is not about me, I try to remind my pathetic brain. This is only about Isaac.