Unloving You

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Anna regretted sending the message to Ben immediately she hit send but she couldn't take it back.

She had already decided to talk about it so she couldn't back down now.

Ben replied almost immediately and told her he'd call her when he got to school.

Anna tried to find confidence to talk to Ben when he eventually called. She had never been the type to have direct conversations and avoided confrontations at all cost.

She was just doing it because Judah told her that until they acknowledged what happened, it was bound to happen again.

Did she even care if it happened again?
A small part of her mind wanted a repeat but the logical part of her knew nothing good would come out of it.

Better to make sure it doesn't happen again than to suffer the consequences, she thought.

Anna's heart was racing and her palms were clammy as she went down stairs to meet Ben.
She had already rehearsed the speech in her head.

When Ben opened the door for her, she forgot everything she had planned to say to him.

At that moment, the only thing Anna wanted to do was throw her arms around his neck and bring his lips to meet her's.
She was suddenly very aware of how soft his lips looked.

Anna had to force her thoughts to the reason she set up the meeting.

Anna walked into the room and sat at the edge of the bed. She was still gathering her thoughts when he spoke.

" I'll be with you shortly, I just need to finish this playlist I'm making". He said without looking up from his laptop.

" Okay, take your time I'm not really in a rush", Anna replied. She was surprised at her voice. Since when was her voice this shrill.

After a few minutes of fumbling with the laptop, Ben placed it on the chair and came to sit on the bed opposite Anna.

" So what do you want to talk about?" Ben inquired.

This was the moment Anna had been dreading and it seemed like words were failing her.
She opened her mouth to speak but no words were coming.

Anna took a deep breath and blurted,
" I wanted to talk to you about what happened between us, I get that it was rebound for you and curiosity on my part, I just don't want a repeat".

She sighed after she was done and she discovered that she couldn't look Ben in the eye again.

Her heart was about to come out of her chest with the way it was beating and she was wondering if he could hear her heart beat.

Ben smiled, looked at her and said," So I have some questions for you".

Anna didn't want to answer any questions but she had no choice "go ahead and ask the questions", she replied.

" First, why did you say it's curiosity, what exactly are you curious about?" Ben asked her with his very serious voice.

Anna didn't expect the question and wasn't prepared for a reply.

How was she supposed to tell him that she was curious because Queen told her that he was a great kisser. He would find out that they talk about him and she definitely didn't want him finding out.

" I was curious to know what it feels like", she said still avoiding eye contact.

Ben knew she was being evasive but couldn't understand why.

" To know what it feels like?", he asked, looking confused.

"Yes, to know what it feels like", she replied, trying to confuse him more.

"So, next question, are you a virgin?, Ben said. At first he didn't think she was but the way she was acting was making him think otherwise.

Anna froze completely when she heard Ben's question. The conversation was definitely not going the way she planned. She didn't know if she should lie to him or not.

Anna decided to go with the lie, "no" she said.

"Then why did you say it was curiosity?", Ben asked.

Anna wasn't ready to have that conversation with anyone and certainly not Ben. Those where things she had never told anyone before. She hadn't even been able to admit it to herself.

"I said so because I was curious to know what making out with you feels like, and now I know", She was glad that he finally bought the lie.

Ben didn't know what to say again but he was relieved that the conversation was finally over.
He didn't even know why he made out with her in the first place and he intended to stop it.

"I guess that is all, I'll be going back upstairs", Anna said .

" Okay then, goodnight Anna," Ben said.

" Goodnight Ben", she replied.