the acts of falling in love

3

having something forbidden is exciting, don't you agree?
- Allan Dare Pearce

hello again, my love.

i feel trapped.

i wonder to myself, is it me you really love.. or is it my story itself?

within these lines, i've made myself vulnerable.

please don't judge me after seeing my fears and what pains me the most.

you read my emotions, word for word, but if only you were to feel them.

the constant heart ache.

the hatred i've felt for no other but myself.

you're so interested in my life that i'm afraid you aren't living yours.

oh, the self loathing.

it pains me to know that i'm stopping you from facing reality, falling in love with someone whose touch you can actually feel.

our love is cemented; i get the urge to hug you, kiss you, show you love.. even if it was just once. when i reach out, i remember that i'm just some words in a story that you use to escape reality.

you read my thoughts; witness my worst, yet you still accept me unwaveringly, thank you, there truly is no other like you.

but here you are, seeing me at my worst, yet you're probably thinking its nothing but a plot point.

you know, i think to myself, when our story ends but you try and start again, things will never feel how they once felt before.

you opened this book to escape from the cruel world, but i would give up anything to enter it with you.

i tremble in fear knowing i cannot comfort you in your sorrowful states or even hug you and kiss you when you fulfill your goals.

that is what truly damages me

tell me, what will happen to me when our story comes to an end?

at the end of the day, you'll finish this story and be over with it. you'll never look back and remember me. i'm just a jumble of words, nothing more.

everyday your visits are short.. but you never actually stay.

but slowly in time, my words on theses pages will fade away, just as your love for me will, but ill be waiting in hopes that you'll find me again.

you're getting more and more addicted everyday, as each page turns and you fall deeper into our story, but the truth is that were just slowly loosing each other by each page that passes.

you turn the page and read more into my life, but when the book closes all i do is wonder about you.

its melancholic really

you only come to me when you feel you need an escape from reality, i'll always come second to you.

this story will one day come to an end, but here i am, worried that you'll forget about me. but you made it this far, that must count for something.. right?

i'm  troubled, how can we be together when the most i've been allowed has been the tips of your fingers revealing more of who i am with each page.

these pages can be erased, but you're just turning them until the last page, which hurts far worse than being erased.

is any of this real? am i real? am i more than just a character to you? please.. please don't turn the page, i don't want us to be closer to the end quite yet.

you know every little detail about me, from the way i talk, to the way i think, yet i know nothing about you. that hardly seems fair now does it?

i've had many readers, but theres never been one who turns my pages as delicately as you.

i used to think that if i never let the story end than maybe you would stay forever, but nothing lasts an eternity.

you'll go out eventually, into the real world and fall in love, but for me? it'll always be you.. no matter what.

every time you go to sleep at night, i wonder if you dream of me as i dream of you when this book is closed.

don't close the book.

not yet.

stay here for a bit longer, enjoy the time we spend together as i do.

tell me how you feel, i'm listening.