Breddy One shots

I'm sorry, eddy.

This is the first time writing in this perspective :):
Sorry if it's a bit messy or doesn't make sense... I don't know how to connect everything together. xD

I can't, I'm sorry. Seeing you with her and not me is too much to handle.
When you wrapped your arms around her, it's like you're choking me. Every time you kiss her, I feel needles getting shot in my skin. The way you gave her a nickname, penguin you called her, easy to forget but you forgot "Bretty" instead. Oh the pain, I feel when I hear that name.  Her voice angers me and stays inside my head, as an echo replaying every time I go to rest my head on the bed. Oh, I have thoughts, dark thoughts. I want her away from you. Us. But I know that's wrong since you feel so happy when with her.

You had all the time for me but now we have to share, and sometimes the way you divide the time between me and her isn't even fair.
Yes, I'm greedy, yes I'm selfish. I want you, and you only.

What does she have that I don't? Is it her smile that you say lights up your day? Or is it the way she dresses? Or is it her hair? Her eyes? I need to know, I can change everything about myself to get the same attention you give to her. You used to give me that attention, how you held me when I felt weak, how you cared for me when I wasn't at my best state. How you let me sleep in your bed when I had a nightmare. Do you do that to her too now?

The little things we used to do got taken away from Toni this, and Toni that.

We used to go alone to get our favorite drink together, why do you bring her with us when you know it's supposed to be just you and me?
The memories we made together are getting overshadowed by the memories you are making right now, without me. All the 15 years of friendship we had, you trashed away for a girl you met some weird way.

Do you remember the movie nights we used to have time for? The way you would lean on my shoulder after you get tired and I too eventually give in and find myself drifting my head on top of yours.

Do you remember the way I told you "I love you" when we hit our goal and you shrugged it off as if it was nothing at all. As if it was another three words in the dictionary.
Do you remember all the times I held you tight, told you it's okay when the world didn't go your way? Does she help you the way I did? Does she comfort you the way I did? Hug you at night?

Or is it the opposite because of how society thinks it's meant to be? How they say the man should be strong for the woman. But we both know you need someone to keep you upright and steady. Are you going to handle, having two souls to care for, or is it not going to be all on the ready?

I think a lot when about you, but what do you have in mind when about me?

I don't know about you but thinking about you brought me happiness, but all I can do now is feel sad emotions. Pain. Sorrow. I want to let it out but it's too late, it's suffocating me.
The times I did let it out, I wanted for you to know why. I hinted to you that I wasn't ok, but will you ever know what made me this way? It's you and her. Together.

I'm not blaming you for the pain. I blame myself for being too late.

The thing I did yesterday wasn't a prank. It was very far away from that. You are regretting how you felt towards it, I know. The way you kept your lips on mine a bit too long, a bit too wanting. The way you kissed back and put your arms on my back. How you then suddenly pulled away and wiped your face from any traces anyone could see. You asked me why I did that, realizing that the question didn't make sense since you did it too. You wanted more but you were scared. You didn't want to hurt her although you are hurting yourself way more.

If I'm someway wrong and you like her and her only and she makes you happy then I'm going to let you be, but I can't let your happiness be the reason I grief. I choose to go, somewhere far far away. Where none can find me and I'll heal. Forget all of this. Maybe find someone new! But I'll never forget you, and you do so too.

I thought yesterday might be a hope that you would choose me over her, but your reaction didn't show me that. It wasn't enough for me to be sure that you want me as much as I, you.

I'll go now, I won't bother you anymore, trust me it will be easier for the both of us.

I love you, Eddy. Don't forget me.