School Affair

Chapter 21

Nathan strokes her hair, and Jessica is so shocked she can't even move.

"You are too hard on yourself. You should have more confidence."

"...but you always get so mad at me."

"I am not that though on everyone, you know. The reason I get so angry with you is because I expect so much of you. Do you remember the test the teacher had to take righter after the schools collab? You actually had the highest score."

"What? Really? I thought I did terrible on it..."

"I was surprised when I learned you are the type of person who is really hard on herself. But I knew right away that you had a lot of potential. You approach your classes and your students witch such sincerity and I know with the right guidance you can become a great teacher."

 Nathan used to be strict to her so many times, but it was all because he had high hopes for Jessica the whole time. Crossing his arms, he smirked at her and begins to talk again.

"I wanted my partner to be the teacher with the most potential. You are very valued here. I value your presence here. You have no reason to doubt your abilities as a teacher." Jessica starts to feel warm inside and smiles at him, shyly.

"I still think I have a lot to learn, but I feel more positive now hearing all of that. I will start believing in myself more."

"Good, that's what I want to hear. You are such a hard worker. I want to know, why you decided to become a teacher?"

"I had a really wonderful teacher in high school, who saved me when I was going through some really tough times. High school is such a strange time in your life. You are a child and an adult at the same time. People treat you both and it can be so uncomfortable. I wanted to help kids who were going through that. I want to be a good teacher, so I will work harder." Feeling at ease talking to Nathan like this, it makes her realize why she choses this job in the first place.

"I am sure you will fine. You are my partner, after all." Running his fingers through her hair again, Nathan gently caresses the top of her head and smiles down at her.

"You are doing a good job." The conversation trails off, and the staff room is quiet again and Nathan is the first one who breaks the silence.

"I am envious of your story. I am envious that you had a teacher you could respect so much."

"Didn't you have a teacher like that?" hearing him sigh she feels horrible asking him that, she could already tell that he was not so lucky to have someone he could ask for advice.

"No. The opposite, actually. When my sister was in high school, she...had a relationship with her homeroom teacher...she ended up getting pregnant and quit school and the teacher...he didn't protect my sister, he abandoned her. the opposite of someone who can respected, right? She is a single mother and goes through a lot of struggles because of it. That's why I think that you had an amazing teacher, but there are a lot of bad teachers as well. My sister was stupid to get involved with her teacher, but he was a complete ass. I still can't accept it. That's why I become a teacher. I wanted to be the perfect teacher so I could get rid of the bad ones."

Jessica knew that there was something about his strict behavior that seems different. Different from wanting to relate to the students like some teachers do, his attention was always focused on something else, and now Jessica knows why he is always so hard on other teachers. She also can understand him more why he is not interested in relationships.

"...Maybe I said too much, just forget it."

"Hmm I am sorry, but I can't" Jessica can't find the right words to say, the only things she can think of are words that would give her peace of mind, but she wants him to smile now and not him looking sad and she frustrated by her powerlessness. She racks her brain and decides what to do.

"Mr. Johnsen. This will probably shock you, but look at my most strange face"

"What in the world are you doing?!"

"You don't think its funny? That was my best one, too..." with that, he starts to crack up and laugh uncontrolled.

"There! I got you to laugh!"

"I really don't understand you."

"Well, it's simple. I just wanted you to smile. It's good to laugh every now and then, you know."

"Honestly...I am not sure what you are worried about, but I feel like I have my hands full with you. You are so much trouble I don't have time to be depressed about the past." He smiles and Jessica feels her heart aches, somehow, she is happy and sad at the same time.

"I am going to go over my English lesson plans. When I am done, please come observe my class, I want your thoughts on it."

"You know that I have high standards."

"I know."

"...All right, then." Jessica wants to be with him even more and learn more about him, she feels happy when he smiles, and she knows now that she can't ignore her feelings anymore. She has feelings for Nathan.