Formed by Fire

"What Did You Expect Me To Do?"

„Hi granny, hi grandpa", the Conway girls greet their grandparents. Dre's spine straightens at the sight of the two elders entering the room. I glimpse at his clenched fists resting on his lap. Cautious I lay my left hand on his fists to show my support and to calm him down. This is not the moment to get angry, not in the presence of his sisters. This should be the moment to sort things out and reconcile! I truly hope and wish for an understanding for the sake of Dre.

He never talks about his grandparents, I'm not even sure, he met them at any occasion. He eyes them, his forehead in wrinkles, thoughtful. I can't read his thoughts, but it's evident, what whirls through his mind: He's got his looks mostly from the Conway's. He IS a Conway. The only difference is the hair and skin colour. They are of a Scandinavian blond, the paleness of their skin typical for people of the northern areas. Dre's hair and skin are darker, following his Brazilian mother.  You can't really trace his heritage. He could be anything: a bright eyed Greek, Italian, Spanish...

Richard Conway stands up, greeting his parents, giving his mum a kiss on the cheek, hugging his dad. He stands next to them, eying his son, a proud expression on his face. "Mum, dad, this is Andre, my son, your grandson, and his girlfriend Kimiko Callaghan." Mrs. Conway tears up. "Oh, my boy, I am so happy to finally meet you." She takes watchful steps in his direction, observing his reaction. Dre is unsure what to do so I give him a slight push under the table.

He takes my hint and stands up immediately to meet his grandmother halfway. She takes him in her arms, holds him for a few seconds without a word spoken. I am touched. This woman is deeply moved to have her grandson in her arms. You see it, you feel it, it's heartwarming. She turns around smiling at her husband. "Gerald, look what an amazing grandson we have." Her husband watches with unblinking eyes. "Yeah, a hell of a fine grandson, Lizzie." Unlike his wife, who sheds a few tears, he seems guarded. I watch him closely, realizing a sense of wariness. He is holding back. Something about his composed expression in this very emotional situation bothers me...

I look back at Dre. He gently pats the small shoulders of his grandmother. "Please, don't cry Mrs. Conway." His grandmother shakes her head. "No, Andre, no, I am your grandmum or granny", she objects. "I know, it will take you some time to feel comfortable with me, I accept that, but you must understand. I am waiting for one and a half year, since my son told me about you. I wanted to see you instantly. But you didn't want contact, you simply ignored us", she cries silent tears. Dre closes his eyes, pain clearly on his face.

"I knew your mum, and I really liked that girl." Dre opens his eyes shellshocked. "You knew her?", he asks taken aback. His hoarse voice shows his emotions. Mrs. Conway nods apprehensive. "Yes, your dad brought Livia on several occasions to a family dinner. She was a very talented and very likable girl." But than her eyebrows furrow. "I could never understand, why she left without a word. She seemed so deep in love with your father. And my son", she glances at Richard who watches with troubled eyes, "he was broken, for a very long time." Suddenly realizing what she said, her eyes move to her daughter-in-law. "Forgive me Alice, you are the best thing that happened to my son, you are the daughter I never had, I don't want to hurt you with my memories."

"You don't, mum, everything is fine", she sends her mother-in-law a sympathetic smile. "I knew of Livia, how much Richard loved her, the girls know it too. There is nothing wrong talking about her. She is Dre's mum and therefore will always have her place in this family." She turns to her stepson. "We all love you and need you in our lives. I am very thankful, you opened up to your sisters so easily, although you ignore their father...your father. I pray, that one day you'll accept Richard and me too."

Remorse and guilt are clearly written on Dre's facial features now. He rubs his face, before he slowly walks up to his stepmum. He gulps, as he bends down his head to kiss Alice on her cheek. They look at each other. "I never told you, how grateful I am that you embraced me with such a big heart into this family. Truth is, I wasn't very accepting, wasn't appreciating your kindness." He takes her right hand tentative in his big ones and places a kiss on the back of her hand. "Thank you, Alice, I'll never forget your generosity. You are my family", he says full of sincerity. Alice puts her left hand over her mouth, sobbing silently. Richard, who watched with misty eyes, steps next to his wife, giving her a comforting side hug, whispering words in her ear. Dre walks back to Mrs. Conway. "Grandmum, I want to be your grandson in every way", he embraces her carefully. It's a touching moment, watching this tall guy towering over an elderly lady, holding her, like he wants to protect her from all evil. He proceeds to his grandfather. "Granddad", they shake hands. His grandfather smiles. "Welcome to the family, Andre."

"I am so hungry, mum", little Elodie whines again. We all laugh, relieved, heavy with emotions. "Yes, come, please sit down, let us have a nice meal." It's a mixture of Japanese, British and Brazilian food, a real cultural cross over. We laugh, tease and talk about all and nothing.

"Let me repeat: you are 15, studying at MIT astrophysics, while I slave myself through junior year?", Beatrice asks incredulous. Everybody at the table gawks, except Dre who sends me a proud side glance. "Yeah, my girl is a smart one." Uh, I hate it, when I'm the center of attention. But I got accustomed to it. "How is that possible?", Richard asks puzzled." So, I explain, how I enrolled in third class because I am highly gifted. They want to know about my plans for the future.

"In 2024 the biggest optical telescope of the world starts its work in Chile. It is a revolutionary scientific project that will allow us to address many of the most pressing unsolved questions about our Universe. The telescope will provide images 16 times sharper than those from the Hubble Space Telescope. We will gain astrophysical knowledge by enabling detailed studies of planets around other stars, the first galaxies in the Universe, super-massive black holes, and the nature of the Universe's dark sector " I know, my eyes are wide and shining with passion talking about my dream. "I want to be working with the scientists that analyze the data they receive. Perhaps see things, nobody saw before." Everyone at the table watches with awe. I am well aware, how people react, when somebody as young as me is determined and ambitious.

Suddenly a phone rings. It's Richard's. He takes the call. "Yeah, Paul, what's up?" He waits, eyebrows furrowing. "One moment, I'll tell dad. We'll call you back." He stands up, indicating his father to follow. "My brother Paul has a problem he wants to discuss with dad and me. I am sorry, but it's a serious matter about his election for governorship. His rival uses dirty tricks on social media to discredit Paul, so he wants our help." They excuse themselves and leave. Dre's grandmother huffs. "Oh, I don't miss the times, when my husband was governor. Our family life suffered, our marriage too. He was always working, or on the road, or in Washington, or...", she sighs. "It was hard, and I pity my other daughter-in-law. I hope, my son knows, what he is getting himself and his family into."

The whole evening I suppressed the need to go to the loo, but now, I am dying. "Excuse me, could you tell me, where I could use the bathroom?", I ask Beatrice in a hushed tone. "Yeah, it's at the end of the hall, you can't miss it." I thank her, standing up. Dre turns his head. "Hey, where are you going?" I roll my eyes and mouth "loo". He sends me a smirk, resuming his conversation with Alice and his grandma. As I walk through the hall, I hear the voices of Richard and Gerard Conway. I don't want to intrude, so I rush to the toilette, doing my business. I take my time because it's a very luxurious bath and I want to relax a little bit, before I return to the dining room. 

Relieved I slowly walk back, halting at the pictures I see on the walls. But then I hear the name of Dre's mum. This catches my attention. I slowly walk up to the door, listening. "You did what?", Richards angry voice cuts the atmosphere. "What do you expect me to say, huh? I know it was wrong, but at that time I thought I did the best for you. You were so young, on your way to become a lawyer. Livia was a nice girl but not the perfect wife for you." I glimpse through the slightly open door. Richard paces the room, ruffling his hair. Suddenly he stops. "How could you do that, father? How could you destroy both Livia and me? I LOVED HER", he desperately shouts. His father snorts. "Destroy? What are you talking about? Look at yourself, and your wonderful wife and children. Do you really thing, you would be where you are now with that girl at your side? She was pregnant at 20! What would you have done? Certainly, marry her. And then? Come on, Rich, she was a poor black girl from Brazil with no connections and you are the son of one of the most prestigious families of the east coast. What did you expect me to do? Watch and do nothing?" The hair on my neck rises of anticipation. This is horrible. Poor Livia and Richard. Poor Dre. He barely got his family back and now everything falls to ... I stiffen, when I feel a presence behind me. Somebody is breathing down my neck. Slowly I turn around. 

Who might that be behind her?