Heartbeats

Chapter 8

Him...

"Come get in the hot tub with me." She walks into the living room at 8:30 on a Tuesday night wearing nothing but a bombshell red string bikini and makes her request known immediately.

The baby is sleeping and what little resolve I have left slips away as she looks down her eyelashes at me.

The way we are together, the way we've been ever since our brunch kiss incident reminds me of the months of playful flirtation we indulged in when we first met. It's intoxicating, and as much as I want to be with her, I don't feel the need to rush the sweet torture of dancing circles around each other.

When I climb into the jacuzzi, she's already settled into the foam, pouring herself a glass of red wine and looking out across the city skyline. The lights look dizzyingly beautiful from 25 stories in the sky, splayed out before us like our very own work of art to behold.

Before I even get a chance to ask, she's passing me a glass of my favorite bourbon and making a toast to new beginnings. As breathtaking as the cityscape is, I find it difficult to have eyes for anything but her.

Unabashed joy wells up in me and splays itself across my face before I can register the need to suppress it. After all this time, with official divorce paperwork signed, sealed, and delivered, I still feel guilty for being happy. Someone who manages to make this big of a mess out of their life doesn't deserve a second chance.

"How are you doing?" She asks, taking note of my silence and staring straight through to my soul, eyes filled with concern. It's in that moment, as she brings her hand up to my cheek in the most soothing caress, that I realize she could probably answer that question better than anyone. Ever the perceptive and caring one, staring into her eyes is like a window to my own soul. Always has been.

When I realize she isn't going to let me out of it, I down a shot of bourbon, pull my gaze from hers, and begin, stuttering over my words. "I made a mess of things," I sigh, letting a bitter laugh suppress a wave of tears. I want to continue, to tell her about how my immaturity ruined everything, about how my wife's cheating was almost a relief, the marriage and family I always wanted spontaneously combusting like an answered prayer—a rescue mission. Somehow, saying those things aloud, especially to her, feels wrong. Drawing my gaze back to hers, she lifts the corner of her lip in a soft smile that I can't help but mirror.

In her eyes, I see empathy and warmth, gentle acceptance and welcoming. When she opens her mouth to speak, I hang on to her words like prophecy. "The biggest mistake anyone could ever make is saying no to forever with you."

Her...

His emotions have always danced in his eyes like their very own Da Vinci code that only I can crack. My confession is ripe with double meaning, and yet, somehow I know he interpreted it exactly as it was meant, the pain he harbors momentarily easing from his expression.

Before I can react, before I can fully behold the beauty of him at peace, he's pulling me onto his lap. I comply without protest, both of us letting out a collective gasp as skin meets skin for the first time in ages, lighting little fires across the expanse of our bodies as water swishes over the edge of the tub.

His hands kneed my waist as his lips sear to mine, and I find myself burying my hands in the hair at the nape of his neck like a prayer. "I have to tell you a secret..." I whisper in his ear as his lips make their descent down the column of my neck.

"Hmmm..." his distracted response gives me all the confidence I need to continue, though as he begins to suck at the skin behind my ear, drawing my earlobe into his mouth, I gasp in his arms, losing my train of thought altogether. "You were saying?"

He pulls away from me long enough to smirk at my heaving chest before returning his attention to the knot at the back of my top, eyes glazing over once more. I lean in once more to kiss his jaw, whispering against it before I lose all control. "I've dreamed of this moment since you stormed out of this apartment that night."

He stills against me, and for a moment I feel utterly frozen in place, angry with my own boldness. But then he's drawing his index finger beneath my chin, pulling me up so we're face to face again, and as soon as I meet his eyes, realize I have nothing to be afraid of. "Me too," he breathes out, an admission that shakes me to the core and sends me into a fit of uncontrollable laughter that reverberates through him, as well.

I suppose I knew we would end up like this. Neither of us ever had an ounce of self-control and to be a pair of award-winning actors, we never were able to hide how we feel for one another. Either way, it doesn't matter. In this moment, as I throw my head back in giddy elation, I free utterly complete.

Before I've had a chance to fully revel in it, he's picking me up, my legs locking automatically around his midsection as he steps out of the jacuzzi. My giggles fade away as he steps through the threshold and into my room, pulling off my loose top and abandoning it in a pile on the floor. "I actually have a whole host of secrets I could share with you."

His admittance sends my heart rate into a frenzy as I leave open-mouthed kisses along his collarbone. "Hmmmm..." I echo, and suddenly he has me pinned beneath him on the bed, hands running across my chest with expertise. I want to tell him that I have my fair share of secrets to tell, as well, but as his mouth follows the path of his hands, we collectively lose all sense of time and space.

"Make love to me and never let me go..." I whisper into the dark, nudging his trunks down with my toes. My head falls to the side as his fingers trace a lightening path across my belly and slide beneath the waistband of my bottoms. When he crawls back up my body and buries his hands in my hair, we become one, and as our lips meet again, they uncover our secrets all on their own.