Heartbeats

Epilogue

Him...

It didn't turn out at all like I had hoped. In my mind's eye, we were fated to become this power couple with a slew of perfect kids and enough fame and fortune to drown out a world of hurt. Back in those days, I was young and naive and I believed that simply being with her could fix everything, but I was wrong.

Our life together turned out so much better than I could have ever imagined. Five years, four kids, three books, two houses, and a nonprofit organization between the two of us—and I can honestly say that my love grows stronger each and every day. It's different now, of course, less palpable angst and more petty arguments.

"Did you grab Thea's diaper bag?" She casually asks as we barrel down the freeway toward the coast for a day at the beach.

"I didn't realize I was supposed to..." My voice trails off and I can tell by the look in her eye that I am in a world of trouble.

"Gahhh..." She rolls her eyes in my direction, oblivious to my smirk, unbuckling her seatbelt and scrambling into the backseat to see what supplies she can throw together. "I only asked you to grab it three times before we walked out the door."

It's been five years, but I still can't resist the urge to slap her on the ass which only infuriates her more. The boys make noises of disgust from the backseat and I blow my cover, laughing out loud as she whips around to unleash her wrath.

"Relax, it's in the trunk." I pull her in for a chaste kiss and she sinks into the passenger seat with a glare and a quick slap on my arm.

"You are soooo not funny."

She changes her tune quickly, of course, as the sun rises in the sky and we tumble out of the car onto the sand, dragging coolers and beach toys to create a place of sweet solace for the day. I take the boys to play in the surf and she watches our daughter build a sand castle while nursing the baby, and I think for a moment that if I could go back in time and send myself one photograph of my future as a form of reassurance, this would be it.

When the twins are waterlogged and begging for snacks, we make our way back up the beach, and maybe its the nostalgia of the moment, but I find myself pulling back the brim of my wife's sun hat and planting an open-mouthed kiss on her lips.

"What was that for?" She wonders aloud, undoubtedly because public displays of affection aren't really our thing anymore.

"Just because." I shrug, unable to resist the urge to pull her in again.

Her...

I run the soles of my feet up his legs under the blanket, causing him to shudder.

"Hey, what was that for?" He gasps, turning around in the bed so we're face to face as I let out a giggle.

"Absolutely nothing," I wonder aloud as he pulls me flush against him. He's kissing my neck before I can dream up a wittier response, and just like that, I'm enraptured by his wiles for what has to be the twelve-thousandth time.

We haven't had much alone time since Thea was born, and he takes full advantage of the opportunity, wasting no time as he pins me beneath him, peppering my jawline with kisses as he whispers nonsensical admirations. I am halfway to oblivion before I even realize it, clutching him ever closer as he descends toward my ear. As he drags my earlobe between his teeth and places a tiny kiss in the hollow behind my ear, it triggers a memory so deep in my subconscious that I let out an involuntary giggle, causing him to pull back with a look of confusion on his face.

"You reminded me of something," I smile, brushing a stray curl out of his eye. "The reason I didn't give up on us."

My mind drifts to sticky Atlanta evenings and aching loneliness as I set the scene for him. It's a few months after our breakup, and the tension on set is getting unbearable. Not only is everyone tiptoeing around the new girlfriend conversation, the news has just broke that I will not renewing my contract, and everyone is taking it like a personal slap in the face. Gone are the days of silliness and pranks—I come to do my job and leave without so much as a friendly word to anyone.

He glares at me intently with a pained look on his face, quietly stroking my cheek. It's the first time I've said it all aloud, put it all together with both words and raw emotion. When I get the script for an upcoming episode, I skim it for any scenes we'll be filming together, and I'm not entirely sure if I'm more disappointed when there are too many or not enough. After all, working together is our only excuse to actually be together, and the writers have done a fabulous job capitalizing on the complexities of our real-life relationship and echoing them on screen.

This particular day, I am in no mood for reminiscing, sauntering onto set with an iced coffee and an even icier attitude. We've filmed a lot of scenes together over the past few months and we've made it through every single one. Today will be no different, at least that's what I tell myself. Except the script is decidedly sweet and sentimental, which is somewhat unusual for our characters, and I'm not sure how I'm going to muster the courage to look in his eyes and say words like "forever."

Nevertheless, when the cameras start rolling, I morph into the melodramatic vampire I've been playing for the past six years and we do what we do best, cascading over our lines and dancing around each other. After a couple of takes, his smolder melts the ice in my gaze and the thin layer of apprehension that separates us begins to dissipate. I squeeze his neck, he grazes my breast. I bury my fingers in his hair, he lets his tongue slip past my lips and I shutter against him in a room full of people, even though we've been told a million times that we can't use those takes. It's all part of the problem—our bodies don't know that our hearts don't belong to each other anymore.

Somewhere around the tenth time they yell cut, we make eye contact for the first time all day and just start laughing, chests still heaving from our heated make-out session as we hang onto one another for dear life, all thoughts of breakups and girlfriends lost for a tiny precious moment. My heart seizes at the sight of him, pained at the simple luxury of being with him like old times.

When the directors yell "Action" again, the whole scene flows more organically from start to finish, uninterrupted and perfect. In the back of my mind, I wonder how we could manage it, but then he's kissing my neck and my breath starts to hitch as he peppers me with tiny kisses .

The very first time we made love, he made it his mission to kiss every square inch of my body. I was on full speed ahead, but he made sure to take his sweet time noting where I was most responsive. A chaste kiss in the hollow behind my ear had me falling apart in his arms, and he never forgot the magic of that spot.

I have no idea what he's doing until he reaches our spot, laving his tongue over the hollow behind my ear just in time for the crew to yell "cut."

Before I leave set for the day, I promise Julie I'll come back for the finale, heart still hammering wildly in my chest like a lunatic, mostly because I want to make sure I can't change my mind.

"We were inevitable," I smile his way, pulling him back toward me in the bed as I finish my reminiscing. I kiss him slowly this time because I know he isn't going anywhere ever again.

Our life is messy and far from perfect, but it is everything I never knew I always wanted.