Chapter 27 | Gray

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HUNTER

"Hay, this is the life."

Jay sighs happily as we wait for the next wave to hit. I've been doing the same thing since that morning. I've been hanging out with Jay, surfing, helping out in the BnB and not seeing Zia.

She hasn't been back to the beach since that morning too.

I can't help it, sometimes I look at her window at night, trying to see if she needed help. If she needed someone to talk to.

The part that hurts the most but that's most twisted is knowing that she might be better off without me, that she's doing well. I guess that should make me happy, but it doesn't.

I guess I just miss her.

"Uy, ang laki! Let's go, Cuz!"

I look behind me and see a wave building up, I lie down on my surfboard and paddle hard. When I get enough momentum, I stand up just as the waves form and ride it. It's one of the biggest and most beautiful waves I've ridden in a while.

I touch my fingers in the water while I ride the wave and smile as I reach the shore.

I see a familiar figure at the beach, her hair is tied back and she's looking over at the water.

I don't know if she sees me, but I guess I could try to talk to her one last time.

I get off of my surfboard and carry it back to the beach, I know she sees me when she gives me a half smile.

I nod, "Hey stranger."

She nods, "I guess I deserve that."

I want to shake her, because I deserve more than just a few words, I deserve a full explanation. But I can't push myself to care anymore. I've cared enough and it's gotten me nowhere.

I stand there and just look at her, but she says nothing else.

So, I wipe the water off my face and give her a small smile, "Well, I hope things work out for you. I'll see you around."

I start walking away and I feel her walking behind me.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop following me."

I grab a towel outside the BnB and walk inside. She's still following me up the stairs and I've just about had it when she walks into my room.

I shake my head in disbelief, "You're something else, do you know that? After we kiss you just pretend nothing happened and don't talk to me for weeks and now you follow me around like a lost puppy?"

I scoff, "Is this a game to you? Are you having fun?"

She sighs, "I'm leaving in a couple of days and I just want to talk to you before I do."

I smile, "Well, I don't want to talk to you so you can just leave. The time for talking is over weeks ago, so..."

I open the door, but she doesn't leave.

She starts pacing the room, "I didn't want this, but you forced me to do it."

I've just about had it with this, so I slam the door shut, "Wow! I forced you to do it? Forced you to do what exactly?"

She yells, "Forced me to hope, to believe that things can change for me! So, I did! I hoped. I believed."

She's full on crying now and I can't help but feel an ache in the pit of my stomach. No matter how I feel about her, I don't want to see her like this.

She sniffs, "I was afraid to live a normal life because I knew that when I go blind, I would miss it. I knew I would miss doing the things I used to do. If I went out with my friends, I knew I couldn't anymore if I were blind."

She wipes the tears off her face, "If I went on adventures, if I travelled, I knew I would hate it if I couldn't do that anymore because I was blind."

She puts her hand on top of her heart, "If I fall in love with someone, I knew that I would miss seeing that face everyday that I can't look at it anymore. It would kill me."

She sits on the bed, "That's why I lived how I lived before I met you. I figured, if I lived a life I wouldn't miss, I wouldn't know the difference when I lose it."

She looks up at me, "But you made me. You made me feel all of those things, you made me live a life that I would miss."

I kneel in front of her, "What happened?"

She looks down on me and my heart breaks with her next words, "Everything's gray."

She laughs sadly, "Everything's gray. I really didn't want to go off on you like this, I just wanted to see you to see if I can still see the blue in your eyes like I used to."

I smile at her and remove her tinted glasses and I whisper, "I hate these."

She smiles, but she's still crying.

I wipe her tears away with my thumb, "Look at me."

She looks at me and cries harder when she sees me up close.

I wrap her in my arms, "I look different to you?"

She doesn't say anything, but she nods.

I smile, "I may look different, but I'm still me. You may see different, but you're still you."

I push her away from me so I can look her in the eyes, "Haven't I taught you anything?"

She cups my cheeks and looks at my eyes, "They're not the same."

I smile at her, "Close your eyes."

She shakes her head, "I don't want to."

I place my thumbs gently on her eyelids, "Trust me."

She closes her eyes and breathes in deep.

I smile and kiss her gently on the lips, "Do you remember that?"

She blushes and nods, "I do."

"Do you remember the color of my eyes before we kissed the first time? You said you can remember my face even with your eyes closed."

She nods, "I do."

"I can have blue, brown, or green eyes. Whatever you want to see. It doesn't matter. As long as you remember the feeling when you're with me. You can recall that memory over and over again."

I kiss her eyes, "Your eyes will still be the most beautiful for me, even if they're pretty useless."

She laughs and I kiss her again.

A kiss for her to remember me.

A kiss to remind her to be the Queen of trying.

A kiss for when she's sad and feeling lost.

A kiss for the time we'll be apart.

A kiss for the girl who doesn't need her eyes to see – not anymore.

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