Dreams I have

Honestly idk anymore

It was me, this boy my age (I'm 15) and this little girl. The world was under a nuclear attack coming from somewhere. We three were hiding behind a cement wall because there was gonna be another nuke dropped, I protected the girl with this metal sheet and me and the boy covered her. There were dead bodies all around and so much ash fuming the air, the nuke hit, and the wave was over. We get up to try and run but then it started snowing really hard,  the snow protected us from the heat of the bombs and also covered up the bodies. We are running together trying not to pay attention to the horrors around us and we get to this field, it's covered in snow so we hide the girl in the bushes while I and this boy run off to find someone to help or protect the girl. I end up running up to the highway with him and this car comes crashing hitting him. I see his body go flying watching the blood come out of his mouth, his arm breaking in two. His body drops down in the road bleeding out. I couldn't have done anything and I had to leave him there. I start running down to the town close by crying. I approach the town and just see bodies everywhere. People are torn in half with only their intestines holding them together, people have slit their throats and their jus lying there in a pool of blood, people have shot themselves in the head so there's blood splattered on the floor, children are crying in the corners of the stores, priests are yelling gods word, animals are slaughtered all over the ground, people are shooting drugs into themselves and all I could do was look and run. I get into the store and the smell of metal from the blood just fills the air everywhere, I get to the medicine aisle and grab the important medications and bandages, I get to the aisle next to it to grab some cans of food and I see this crazy man smoking weed and laughing. I didn't even bother with him and just kept doing what I was doing. he was slurring his words while filling the aisle with the smell of weed. I cover my face and got out of there heading back to the girl. I get to her and see her body mangled together missing her legs and her eyes are gouged out. someone had massacred this poor little girl for no reason. I hide as I hear the siren for another nuke to hit, I run to a little shelter near the bushes, I get inside and see someone that I knew. he looked at me with pure fear in his eyes, I've never seen someone so tall and serious so scared. I put the cart of food in the shelter and huddle up next to him protecting ourselves with a large and thick sheet of metal. I start crying uncontrollably knowing I'm going to die any minute now. My friend looked at me and confessed his love for me knowing me and him are going to die soon. we start crying even harder holding each other while we feel the heat of the nuke coming closer. he kisses me while the shelter gets hotter and burns. it rips apart and he covers me by laying on top of me yelling "Live for me and yourself". He dies on top of me and after the heatwave has passed I push him off me. I have severe burns all over but I'm still sadly alive. I couldn't handle it anymore so I pulled out my pocket knife and slit my wrists dying ontop of my friend. I couldn't keep his promise.