𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞|𝚝. 𝚔𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚊

21➪I THINK I LIKE YOU

There was a comforting silence that loomed over as we walked to the convenience store. I intertwined my fingers within each other and placed them in front of me as I walk slightly behind Kageyama. I stared at the back of his head as I was lost in thought.

Something about him just makes my heart flutter. I was suddenly stopped as I rubbed my forehead. "Why the fuck did you do that for?" I ask since Kageyama suddenly stopped walking—causing me to walk straight into his back.

"Why do you keep staring at me, idiot. You're drilling holes into the back of my head," Kageyama stated as I stood up straight. "I was just blanking out, I guess," I said as Kageyama sighed. "What's wrong with you?" He asks as I turned my head and bit my bottom lip.

"I'm fine," I said as Kageyama continued to stare at me. I clicked my tongue knowing that he won't stop unless I look at him. I turned to him and restated my claim. "I'm fine," I said again and Kageyama just turned around to continue walking. I rolled my eyes and caught up with him.

"You annoy me," I said to him as I walked side by side—next to him. My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat when I felt a weight on my head. I stiffly moved my eyes to look at Kageyama only to see that he briefly placed his hand on the top of my head—patting it.

We once again walked in silence as my thoughts were racing. Why did he do that? Why does it make me feel this way? I sneakily glanced at Kageyama before returning my gaze to my hands. Shit. I felt my palms get sweaty and my heart start to race.

My breathing fastened as I try to breathe properly. Shit, not now. My walking slowed as I felt unstable on my feet. I felt tears prick in my eyes as I struggled to breathe. I then felt myself being pulled as I looked at the person who pulled me.

"Shit, (f/n). What's wrong?" Kageyama asked with concern laced in his voice. I struggled to breathe as I shook my head. "I-I'm fine," I breathlessly said as Kageyama held tightly on my arm. I grasp onto him as I tried to steady my breathing.

"Crap, is this a panic attack?" Kageyama asked as I frantically nodded my head. I have told Kageyama that I sometimes get panic attacks and not to worry about them since I don't really get them anymore. Unfortunately, I never told him how to console me during my panic attacks.

Just the thought of me potentially liking Kageyama romantically reminds me of my relationship with Otonashi. The thought of being in a relationship scares me. I hear Kageyama wince as I tightly held onto his arm. "What do I do, (f/n)?" Kageyama asked frantically. I tried to speak but the words seem stuck in my throat.

I gripped onto Kageyama's shirt tightly before engulfing him in a tight embrace. "J-Just hold me," I blurted out—finally able to say something. Kageyama was stiff and didn't hug me back which made my panic attack worsen and I started shaking.

I stood there shaking with my arms around him. I let out a sharp exhale and backed away from him. I was then met with a tight embrace again as Kageyama pulled me closer to him—tightly hugging me. I sobbed as Kageyama rubbed comforting circles on my back while whispering consoling words into my ears.

He soon led us to sit on a park bench near us. My breathing soon started to steady itself same as my heartbeat. I slowly stopped shaking as I smelled his cologne. I inhaled the calming scent before I let go of Kageyama. "Hey, are you okay?" Kageyama asked as I shamefully looked away from him.

That was so embarrassing. I felt like crying from the embarrassment. "I'm sorry...I don't know what happened..." I stated as I shamefully held my head down—staring at my lap. That was probably so scary for him. Kageyama sheepishly rubbed his neck as we both avoided eye contact.

"Let's just go to the convenience store," I suggested as Kageyama nodded his head. I reluctantly moved away from him and we both started walking to the store. "Since mom and dad are going away, they said we should buy something to eat," Kageyama said as we both entered the store.

We both muttered a 'hello' to Coach Ukai as he nodded and continued to read behind the desk. The comforting silence quickly turned awkward as Kageyama and I look around the shop. Liking Kageyama romantically isn't a big deal, why did I let my self get a panic attack because of that?

"Uh, (f/n)?" I snap my head towards Kageyama and waited for him to continue. "Hinata-san is coming over today, I said no but the idiot is still coming," Kageyama said with a scowl once he mentioned Hinata. "Okay, are you guys going to hanging out together?" I asked as Kageyama flinched.

"I'm not hanging out with him, you'll be with us," Kageyama said as I picked up a few chip bags that I know Hinata will like. "He probably wants you to set for him again," Kageyama reasoned while giving me a quick wary glance. I nodded my head and bent down to look at some snacks on the bottom shelf.

"He doesn't have to come over if you're not feeling well," Kageyama suggested, I sighed and stood up. "If you're worried about me just say that," I said with a teasing smirk that graces my lips. Kageyama and I locked eyes for a bit before I tore my gaze away from him. "I don't mind if Hinata-kun comes over," I stated while facing away from Kageyama.

He made a grunting sound—confirming he heard me. Kageyama walked diligently behind me while I look for the food. I glance behind only to see Kageyama holding the heavy basket that is filled with food. I felt heat rushed through my body as my eyes wandered to his arms.

He has such nice arms. "Oi," Kageyama said as my eyes snapped away from his arm to his face. "Stop staring, it's weird. Anyway, are you done?" Kageyama said as I fumbled with the shopping list. "Uh, yeah. We can go pay now," I said as Kageyama walked past me with the heavy basket.

I just told him he doesn't have muscles and now I'm ogling over his arms. I rolled my eyes at the thought and walked behind Kageyama up to the counter. Ukai briefly talked with Kageyama before turning his attention to me. "Are you okay, (l/n)-san?" Ukai asked me.

I shamefully covered my red puffy eyes with the arms of my sweater. "Yeah, I'm fine. Something just got in my eyes," I stated as Coach Ukai then started to playfully berate Kageyama for letting me cry. "It's fucked up making a girl cry, Kageyama-san," Ukai said with a playful smirk as I saw Kageyama's ears heat up into a red color.

"Shut up," Kageyama sternly said before snatching the change out of Ukai's hand and then grabbed me by my hand. Kageyama and I then walked out of the store—hand in hand. I felt my hands grow clammy and my heart racing. You're going to make my heart explode, Tobio.

Kageyama then let go of my hand as he carried the bags in both of his hands. My hand felt heavy now that Kageyama wasn't holding it anymore. I miss his touch. Now, it's dark and Kageyama and I must walk back to the house. Fortunately, his parents are away so now we won't get scolded again by Arata for being out too late.

My hand aches to be within Kageyama's hands again. Just say it. Don't be a coward. I bit my bottom lip as I felt conflicted. "You're so weird," Kageyama spoke out as I looked at him with furrowed brows. "I can literally see when you keep looking at me," He said as I felt embarrassment flow through my veins.

"Oh, sorry," I said as I fiddled with my bracelet. "I don't mind it," Kageyama said and my heart stopped. Does that mean he likes when I look at him? A plethora of thoughts flowed through my mind as I tried to dissect the situation.

He likes me right, so I should just say it..."Uh, Kageyama-" I started before getting interrupted. "Why are you calling me by my surname, (f/n)?" Kageyama asked and I felt my body heat up once again when he said my name. "I think I like you, Tobio," I said while looking into his eyes. I winced at my voice of words. Really? 'I think'?

Kageyama's eyebrows furrowed at the confession, soon a blush crept up to his cheeks. I anxiously waited for his answer while Kageyama was lost in thought. I sighed and put my hand on his arm, breaking him out of his reverie.

"You don't have to say anything, Tobio," I said as Kageyama hesitantly nodded and continued walking. I shouldn't have confessed. Fuck...

word count-1587
(a/n)- should I make y/n gender neutral? like using they/them pronouns and gender neutral adjectives. please vote, comment, and follow. also give me constructive criticism