My dearest // a Larry Stylinson fan fiction

Chapter 18: Wherever I go, you Bring me Home

Two weeks turned into a month, Harry hadn't heard anything about Louis until this letter arrived at his doorstep.

"My dearest Hazza,

I didn't know how to say this in person and I honestly couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to see you hurt again. You're probably curled up in your soft fluffy blue blanket that you got because it reminded you of my eyes, watching friends. I'm assuming you're re-watching your favorite episode again. You know I actually didn't mind the show all too much, I just liked to tease you because you looked so cute when you got frustrated. So if you are watching friends please turn it off because I don't want to ruin it for you."

Harry stopped reading the letter and shut the TV off. "What did he mean by ruining it for me?" he thought to himself before he continued to read the letter.

"Okay now that you have probably turned the TV off I can continue. Hazz I am so incredibly sorry for everything I put you through, I know you said you forgive me for everything, especially the stuff I did before we were friends, but a part of me still feels the need to apologize because what I did was not okay and I should've just told you how I felt. I wish you had told me how much it actually bothered and hurt you because if you would've told me I would've stopped in a heartbeat. I still can't believe that I was the reason behind your tears and that I was the reason you were scared to walk alone in the hallways or go to any school events. I didn't realize how much you were hurting and I feel like such a shitty person for it. I know we still got in fights while we were together"

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Were together?" Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach. He didn't know if he could bring himself to read the rest of the letter but he knew he had to. So with that said he continued reading.

"Harry I'm sorry that we got in those. They sucked and I now realize that most of them were because of me. I overreacted about a lot of things, especially when you talked to my dad. I now realize that you only did that because you were trying to stick up for me and open his eyes as to how bad of a person he is. I'm so sorry I flipped out and then left without a goodbye. I'm sorry for the incident that happened on the day of the football game, I still can't believe I said those cruel and disgusting things to you, especially in front of hundreds of people. I remember when I saw your face as soon as I said it, I felt like throwing up. I wanted to stop and I knew I should've, but my dad got in my head and I just kept going. My heart shattered the more I said things. All I wanted to do in that moment was kiss you and tell you how much I loved you. I knew I loved you since I was 14, but I truly fell in love with you when we had our first conversation this year. My stomach was doing somersaults the whole time and I was trying so hard not to blush."

Harry wiped a tear that had fallen down his cheek.

"I'm sorry for all the times I had punched you so hard you looked like you were going to throw up, you know when I did that I would try so hard not to but I just couldn't control it. I loved you so much all I wanted to do was hurt you because all you did was cycle through my brain and send waves of butterflies throughout my stomach and would shoot arrows right into my heart. I hated how much I loved you."

Harry was now full on sobbing and his heart felt warm but he knew that feeling would soon disappear, he had a feeling something was going to happen.

"I'm sorry for all the times I called you f*g in the hallways, the fact that I would even dare to say that to you breaks my heart. I only said that because I was trying to convince myself I wasn't in love with you and that I was straight. I was so scared of what others would think of me (especially my dad) if they found out I had a crush on a boy so I would call you that so it looked like I was against it and so that people would think I wasn't in love with you. Every Time I saw you in the hallway I would feel like throwing up because of how much my stomach would flip. It was really annoying that you had so much power over me. I'm so sorry for literally everything I did to you, everything I did was because I was so utterly in love with you that it hurt."