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"So. . .I bought my husband a dog. Small little Pomeranian." Richie passes the microphone to his right hand, his grin spreading wider as the crowd let's out an 'ooohh'.
"Yeah, yeah. I decided, we've been married for over 3 years at this point, why not? Right? Time to cross that line so um. . .I bring this dog home, this small little puppy, and I swear to you, I've never heard a grown man squeal louder." The crowd erupts, and Richie himself giggles into the microphone. It's all giddy, full of absolute adoration.
He brings the microphone back to his lips, taking a breath as he throws the microphone wire to the right. "When I say he squealed, I mean it. It was like watching someone's soul leave their body. He was absolutely incoherent for, like, 30 minutes as he held this dog like I had brought home a baby or something. In a way this dog is like a baby, but in that regards I digress." He takes a pause to breath, just long enough for a disagreeing murmur from a couple of people in the crowd.
"And I know you'll grill me for that statement but for two grown-ass men who have never had contact with a baby, taking care of a dog is exactly the same thing in our eyes." There's more bustling laughter, and Richie waits for it to die down before he continues.
"So, yeah, I bring home this dog, my husbands soul leaves his body, and once he stops descending he looks over at me. Without a pause he looks me dead in the eyes, holding this puppy and says, I shit you not, 'let's name him Pom-Pom'-" Richie takes a pause, because the whole auditorium is full of laugher.
Richie stops from where he walking back and forth, grinning like a idiot. Once the crowd dies down, he brings the microphone back to his lips, curling the cord around his finger. "So, now we have a Pomeranian named Pom-Pom. Thanks to my husband, who is backstage listening to all of this. I love 'em."
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"What's wrong with the name I chose? It's just fine!" Eddie is saying as they exit the auditorium after the show ended, the back of his hand slapping against the palm of his right as he does. "You just need to get better names, asshole." He's not being serious, Richie knows. So, he laughs.
