This is a random collection of appreciation pieces I wrote on the app Amino under the user name BTS = ARMY but ultimately decided to post here as well because I won't be using Amino anymore.
Feel free to comment and make suggestions on future piece...
In one of his lectures, philosopher Alan Watts said:
"You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble. The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith because you don't really know that the floor's not going to give under your feet. The moment you take a journey, what an act of faith. The moment that you enter into any kind of human undertaking in [a] relationship, what an act of faith. See, you've given yourself up. But this is the most powerful thing that can be done: surrender. See. And love is an act of surrender to another person. Total abandonment. I give myself to you."
For me, growing up meant quite the same as what Watts had said, which meant stop doing things on my own and let others help me when I was in need. I had to lose total control of everything and surrender.
I had (and still have to an extent) trust issues, and it doesn't appear to be the result of something that happened to me in the past. I used to do everything by myself, even if it took a toll on my personal health.
But in the process of learning to love myself, I realized that if I wanted to truly allow it to happen, I had to make the effort to try and grow as a person that I will want to love. To have faith in the people in my life. To trust them to help me become that person.
Allowing those people into my life in that way, showing them my struggles and asking for help, helped me grow. Not only in my eyes as someone who learned to love herself but also in the eyes of the people in my life that see me as the person I want to be.
I realized that the thing that makes any partnership work is that you don't have to take full responsibility for failure. But you also can't take full responsibility for success. It's what keeps us humble and prevents us from becoming desperately sad. Stability.
And I guess, though the end result for many BTS fans is somewhat similar because they taught us to love ourselves, the process is still different.
Loving yourself is more than just accepting yourself and finding your own voice, it's also what we make ourselves to be in the eyes of others. It is the recognition of how high we regard our own well-being and happiness. It is the realization that we must take care of our needs without sacrificing those of others. And it's the positive thinking that proves itself in the impact it has on other people when it produces positive results with them too.
× I want to give credit where credit is due, the words in bold about self-love are not mine, I read them on Wattpad. If you are interested in reading the ff in question, look for: Slap my ass! By the talented writer CranberryPower. I will say that this is a Jikook ff. If you don't want to read it for whatever reason, please refrain from hateful comments and avoid reading it.
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Would you want to know more about my journey of self-love? Let me know.
And like always, thank you for taking the time to read this randomness. It's not something I take for granted.
