six months ago my bestfriend told me that my life was exactly like a summer hallmark movie, but then my hallmark movie ended with a plot twist. my hallmark movie had an awful ending that people said it turned lifetime, maybe it was the fact that I somehow convinced myself that it wasn't over, or maybe the fact that I loved him so much I used blinders to see only the good in him. but the truth is is that that wasn't the end of my hallmark movie. in fact it was just the beginning because guess what... it got me here! and my life is so far from perfect right now but nobodys life is perfect. we all are just learning and this so called this "life" is just teaching us that everything happens for a reason. and that is what I learned in there first 13 years here.
I hate the words "moving on" because people continually told me to "move on" and now its many months later. I found real love and I'm completely happy with him, I'm happy with myself don't think about him all day anymore and I don't cry all night about him. but I haven't "moved on" because loosing someone.. you never really get over it and that's okay.
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it all started back in November 2019, I was 12. having strict parents really sucks doesn't it. I wasn't allowed on any social media or anything of that sort. me and my best friend would make tiktoks on her phone and eventually I was so sick of people asking me for my snap and having to say I didn't have one that I went on my phone and created an Apple ID and downloaded snapchat, instagram and tiktok. without my parents knowing lol (don't recommend) snap.. I ended up meeting my "bestfriend" Seth. we talked everyday and you know what he was my everything at the time. I had never really had a guy friend who cared about me as much as he did. and at the time he was exactly what I needed. fast forward deleting Apps, redownloading, and being scared of getting caught to a Thursday that changed me forever. it was near the end of January 2020 and this day was hard, I woke up feeling sick and started my period and overall my mental health was awful. I went to school and had a somewhat normal day until our principal busted into the science room, "we have a tornado warning for our area we are contacting parents but for now we are going to stay in our safe spaces" me and my friends packed up our bags and headed to the hallway. I texted my mom snd told her to come pick my up, when she arrived I remember accidentally texting the guy I had liked at the time instead of my mom and asked her where she was. I hopped in the car and then realized I had accidentally texted Bryan instead, so then I explained we had a tornado warning and my mom was picking me up and that was meant for her. we ended up talking on the way home and it was amazing, he ended up asking me who I liked and if I liked him ect. and it was obvious he liked me back. over the past couple weeks I had kinda lost feelings for him but I was so caught up with his texts I didn't think. we were driving home in the rain and almost wrecked multiple times because of black ice and flooding.
when I got home he asked me out. I showed my mom the message while she was on the phone standing up against the kitchen stove and she was shocked. she told me to wait until my dad got home to give him an answer because she didn't want me to be tied down to someone. my dad got home and I was a bundle of nerves. on the inside I was freaking out but I held it together. instead of what I thought would happen (dinner and a long talk about dating Bryan) my dad slammed his car door and walked straight by me inside to my mom. he yelled from the kitchen to go back a bag for a few days, I just said okay even though I didn't know why. I could hear the fear in his voice and I knew there was just something wrong. so I threw together a bag and grabbed my most important belongings.
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later that night I had a talk with my dad in the car, they told me I wasn't allowed to date him. but me thinking I found "love" went for it. I deleted messages and we started dating right then. which fyi I wouldn't recommend doing but I didn't care because I found "love".
I got to the hospital just as they took my grandpa back in to surgery. I remember seeing the fear in my dads eyes and let me tell you that shit hurts. the next thing I remember from that day was looking out his hospital room feeling the cold window cill not even knowing what the year 2020 was going to hold for me.
I really don't remember much about the rest of the trip, but I do remember being absolutely miserable and I ended up getting yelled at and told to tell my parents to get my grandpa out of their house.. really I had no place there and I shouldn't have even been there.
