Yaqeen ka Safar - The Journey of Faith

7

The next day, she was out on rounds in the children's ward with Dr. Shahroz, when someone notified her of a visitor. Who could it be? Worried, she went to her room as Dr. Shahroz returned to his office.

"Oh, it's you guys!" Although seeing Kashmala and Saim seated in her room made her happy, the fear of Dr. Asfandyar dampened the excitement.

"I guess you aren't happy to see us..." Kashmala complained after seeing the expression on her face.

"No, no, I'm really happy to see you two! But the thing is, rules around here are more rigid than necessary. Having personal guests over during duty hours is strictly forbidden." She clarified with a smile.

Saim shivered, "Ugh, that sucks."

"This is nothing. Spend a whole day here, if you don't forget the torture that goes on in Murree Convent, then my name isn't Zubia Khalil." She said humorously.

"But not letting you meeting anyone just isn't fair! You should honestly protest against the administration." Kashmala said hotly.

"Kids, kids...you haven't seen the big boss yet. That's the reason you can speak so easily about a revolt. Ever heard of Hitler?" She asked in full seriousness, while the two siblings nodded their heads in affirmation. "Well then, just know that this guy seems to be Hitler's direct descendant. Dr. Asfandyar Khan." Zubia spoke quietly, as if telling a horror story.

Kashmala smiled, "He's that dangerous?"

"Dangerous? He's not just dangerous, he's menacing, vicious, murderous! Just assume that every known synonym of danger applies to that man. Which is why you two had better disappear for a while. I'll be free in two hours, if you guys are still available by then, we'll meet up at yesterday's place."

Since she had arrived at the hospital, this was the first time she had gossiped about the doctor with someone, and the experience had been surprisingly enjoyable. It had been so long since she had engaged in such childish talks with anyone. The siblings agreed upon meeting in two hours, and left with a smile.

"...So then why aren't you listening to what I'm saying? You keep glancing at your wristwatch." 

They were standing in the general ward, and she had just been scolded in front of all the patients. Even though she had been so careful in secretly peeking at her watch, that man seemed to have eyes everywhere. He had been checking the reports of an old woman, while rattling off instructions to her and Dr. Shahab. Nurse Razia was also standing to the side, taking in the directives quietly.

"What did I just say? Right now. Which medicine did I tell you to give to her before bed?"

He was like a schoolteacher who would catch a student being inattentive, and then embarrass her in front of the whole class by making her repeat whatever he had just said. Well, joke's on him, because she hadn't been that absentminded. Sure, she was itching to go meet her new friends, but she had still heard everything the doctor had been instructing. Hearing the correct name of the medicine from her mouth seemed to somewhat cool down his anger, otherwise he had been giving the signs of a full blown thunderous rage. 

As they stepped out of the ward into the corridor, Dr. Asfandyar spun towards her, "Your duty hours were over, I admit. But I still did not like your attitude. Continuously looking at your watch in front of me, as if you're trying to make a point, is something that infuriates me. I hope you will be careful in the future." He said in his signature rude tone.

Her mood was now ruined. So what if she had looked at her watch a couple times, she furiously thought. She had never cared about the time before, and had often taken over others' duty hours too. He never praised her for that. But just because she had looked at her watch, she got an earful. If she hadn't already promised Saim and Kashmala to meet up, she would have cancelled, but she was already fifteen minutes late. She wasn't even sure if they would still be there or not. But she had to check. 

"Wow, aren't you super early. You really didn't need to come so soon, you know. Waiting is great." Saim said sarcastically.

Zubia held up a finger in warning, "I've already been scolded because of you two, don't test my patience."

"You got scolded? But why?" They both asked in unison, and upon insisting Zubia relayed the whole sorry tale.

"God forbid I ever wear a watch again. No watch, no checking. Problem solved." She concluded.

"What a horrid man! He made a big deal out of such a small thing." Kashmala grumbled.

Zubia shushed her, "Leave it, guys. Let's not ruin our mood by talking about him."

Kashmala had brought cheese sandwiches and a thermos full of coffee from home. The three talked and ate to their hearts' content.

*******

Finding Khajista in her hostel room was a pleasant surprise.

"How are you? I wanted to come and meet you, I really thought about it. But truth be told, I'm scared of your husband and mother-in-law." She took Khajista's hand into hers and sat down beside her on the bed.

"Weren't you the one who told me not to be scared of him? And now look at you, you can't even come to my home." Khajista grumbled, and then spoke further, "My brother-in-law is a gardener here. I made up a story about bringing him dinner, otherwise Mother wouldn't let me set foot out of the house. He's really nice. He takes care of me, too. I told him that I was going to meet you, and that I'll take the dishes on my way back."

"You didn't tell me your brother-in-law works here, otherwise I would've mustered up the courage to come to your home with him. By making something up, I mean."

Khajista nodded her head, abashed. "Yeah...I forgot to tell you that."

"Never mind, tell me what you'd like to eat." Zubia turned towards caring for her guest.

"Thanks, but I'm really just here to meet you. I love talking to you. I can tell you things that I've never been able to talk about with anyone else, and you always listen to me so patiently."

Zubia sobered at her words. "Yes. I listen to you. That's all I ever do. Sometimes I reply with a long emotional speech, but I'm never able to actually help you."

"This is enough for me. Just having someone listen to me and talk to me is a luxury I've never had before." She replied sadly.

"I should go now. Mother is going to be furious if I'm late." She stood up after just ten minutes.

Zubia walked with her to the hostel entrance, and even met her brother-in-law. After she left, for so long, her words kept echoing in Zubia's head. 

"He beats me in the day, but becomes so loving at night. If I could, I would run away to a place where I would never have to see his face again." She had cried, while showing her wounds. 

Zubia was busy with other patients in the hospital, but she couldn't get Khajista out of her mind. Every time she saw the young girl, she was reminded of fifteen-year-old Zubia. Even though the circumstances of the two girls were as different as day and night, but still. One thing that united the two though, was the utter hopelessness and misery in their hearts. Khajista's body had been beaten, while Zubia's soul had been broken.

"Bahadur thinks I'm a woman of loose character. He calls me a slut and a whore. If I ever shower and wear clean clothes, he swears at me, 'who are you dressing up for, you slut?!'"

"This time she's having an affair with her classfellow. God knows what tricks this wily girl uses to attract all the men towards her."

Old wounds were being opened up again. That night she cried for hours with her face buried in a pillow.