Yaqeen ka Safar - The Journey of Faith

4

It had almost been a month since she started working at the hospital. To some extent, she had managed to adjust herself into the new environment. She would lie down on her bed and fall asleep instantly, finally having learned to get rid of useless thoughts. 

That night, she was on duty. Dr. Shahab and Dr. Tajdar would each get a week of night duty. So that day, Dr. Shahab was the one supposed to be on duty with her. But he had received news of his father's illness and had immediately set out for Mangora. She was left alone to work with the juniors. It was no problem, since there were never any serious cases at night. After going about her rounds, she came into the children's ward.

"What's wrong, Razia?" She ashed Nurse Razia, who held her head in her hands.

"Its nothing much. Just a headache." She said, flinching at the pain. Zubia knew that she had been having migraines for a long time.

"You should go and rest. I'll stay here. It'll be morning in a little while anyway." She said while looking at the clock, which had just struck four. Razia hesitated.

"You'll be left all alone. Even Dr. Shahab isn't here." After the doctors, Nurse Razia was the most experienced member of the staff. She had worked in many well-known hospitals before coming here. she was just a nurse, but because of her experience she was way more knowledgeable than Zubia. 

"Don't worry. There will be no problem at all." She had just made Razia leave when a nurse came running into the room.

"Doctor! Please hurry, a patient just came in and she's in a very serious condition!" 

Zubia picked up her stethoscope and rushed after the nurse. The patient wasn't looking good. Quickly shifting her from the stretcher onto the bed, she set about stopping the bleeding. But the patient did not regain consciousness. She tried everything she was capable of but when there was still no result, she turned for the first time to the man who had brought her in. 

"What happened to her?"

"She fell down the stairs." He grumbled.

She didn't have the time to start a proper inquiry. Neither was the woman's heart rate normal and nor did she show any signs of consciousness. She thought about calling at the hostel and asking for Dr. Tajdar or Nurse Razia. But before she could do anything, Dr. Asfandyar came in with a nurse. He often took a round of the hospital at night. Dr. Shahab would joke that he was actually trying to catch them red-handed. He had probably run into the nurse along the corridor and she must have told him of the emergency.

He hurried to the patient's bed and quickly carried out a detailed examination, asking about the aid that had already been given as he worked. Dealing with the emergency alone had given her a cold sweat. There was such a difference between being alone and being with an experienced senior, she thought. She realized her own shortcomings. The woman must have gone into shock. Zubia stood quietly as Dr. Asfandyar continued with the treatment. 

The woman, who was really just a girl, came to after quite some efforts. The full effect of the pain she was in enveloped her and she cried out. Her head was still bleeding and she writhed while clutching at her feet, back and stomach. Her whole body was covered in bruises and one eye was swollen shut. Dr. Asfandyar left the room once he had made sure that the painkillers had taken effect and given her some relief. 

"Come into my office." He said before leaving. She followed him out and entered his office with him.

"Where is Dr. Shahab?" He asked in a hard voice.

"He got news from home that his father is ill, and he left after telling Dr. Shehzor." She spoke nervously.

"And Nurse Razia?" The next question came in an even colder tone.

"She often gets migraines. Today, too, she was in severe pain so I asked her to go and rest." She answered, scared that because of her, poor Nurse Razia would get scolded rather than get any rest. 

"Who gave you the authority to decide whether a person can go off duty or not?" His tone was cutting. "You're still a junior. You are not capable of handling emergencies yet. And yet, you still took the risk. Your inexperience could have resulted in the loss of a life but at least you would have done your duty of being kind, right? And the hospital's reputation? Gone to blazes. Dr. Shahab wasn't there, no other doctor was present, and the only experienced worker left was granted leave by your extreme graciousness."

His voice has risen in volume. She stood there like a criminal, staring at her feet. He stood by his table. After a few moments of silence, he took a deep breath and sat down in his chair. 

"This is your first mistake, which is why I'm going to ignore it. But there will be no room for forgiveness next time. Any emergency, any problem, you should have told me. If no one else was available, I would have come myself."

"I'm sorry." She hadn't meant for any of this to happen, but the mistake was nevertheless, hers. 

"You can leave." He said as he rummaged in a drawer for something.

"One more thing." She was just was walking out the door when he called out from behind. "There should be enough difference between a doctor and an ordinary person that if the person loses his mind at the sight of blood, the doctor must remain calm and collected. Would a doctor be a doctor if he isn't in control of his reactions?" He spoke while busily going through his things.

She spoke nothing and left the room with her head bent low. Everything he said was correct but still she could feel the tears pushing up. She had been proven useless. At that, she couldn't help feeling anger at her own self.