WITH YOU- I Never Had A Choice ✔️

CHAPTER FORTY THREE

AVERY

I haven't left my room since last night. Neither did I want to. The period cramps are killing me. Usually, I prefer laying on my front during this time, it feels better but because of the bruises all over my body and the pain in my ribs, that is off the list.

After Dylan left me last night, I broke down. Well, it was to some extent because I wasn't feeling well but I guess, the look on Dylan's face before he closed the door, was the breaking point. His face was void of any emotions. Usually, looking at his face, I can contemplate his major emotion but this time, there were none. He looked at me as if it didn't matter. As if he was feeling nothing.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. The heaviness in my throat remains. So does the thin headache. Crinkling my forehead, I press the hot pack on my abdomen. The pain seems to be increasing with every passing second. Although it happens every month, this time I am feeling utterly exhausted.

My phone starts ringing on the bed table. Groaning, I remove my hand from the hot pack and grab the phone. Aunt Clair's name flashes on the screen with her picture. I press the answer button and hold it against my ear. "Hello?"

"Honey, how are you?!" My aunt's voice comes out worried. Yes, she was the one I had as a mother figure but I never felt close enough to her. Probably because I knew that she was not my mother. I mean I understand her preferring Julie more. She is her daughter but well a three-year-old didn't understand that but noticed the difference. My aunt is not a bad person. Of noise not. I got a good life because of her and my uncle just maybe there was a missing connection. Although I never searched for it. I never really wanted to get close to anyone to let them take my mom's place in my life. Funny how I never knew my mother in that way.

It's not like I don't love Aunt Claire or she doesn't love me but I never got the motherly vibe from her even when she was with Julie, the way I got from Dylan's mom, the moment I met her. That might be because of her nature but apart from that, she cares for me, I just know that. It doesn't feel like we've met just like a month ago. Moreover, her love for her son can be seen in her eyes. Aunt Claire never loved Julie in that way. Sometimes she tried to control her, the rest of the time she never cared what she did. It is so much different for Dylan and his mother. Their relationship is unique. Dylan is hands down one of the best people I've met, and maximum credit goes to his upbringing for making him the man he is now. The man who can win over anyone.

It's scary how much things have changed within this short time. Before that, I just never thought I would be in the middle of such a situation, feeling so many emotions all at once. Oh hell! I'm thinking about Dylan again.

I push myself back to reality and answer, "I'm fine." My voice comes out a bit harsh so I clear my throat gently.

"We heard about the accident, " she says. I kind of figured that.

"Yeah, it wasn't that bad."

"I didn't want to bother you yesterday so I thought maybe I should call you and make sure if I come to visit you today, it won't be a problem."

"Oh no no, it's not. I'm at home. You can come over anytime."

"Okay. I'll ask your uncle to drop me off in the afternoon, will that be ok?" She asks.

"Sure. See you then." I answer and hang up, putting the phone back on the table. Sighing, I look up at the ceiling. I feel like there are a lot of thoughts in my head but at the same time, nothing at all. There is a weird restlessness inside my body. I know the reason, yes but there must be a way to make it gone without having to correct my mistake. Well, it wasn't a mistake. I'm just doing this to keep my heart safe, is it wrong to be taking care of myself? No.

Then why does it not feel right? Am I taking care of myself or am I letting my fear rule my life?

There's a knock at the door, tilting my head in that direction, I call, "yes?" Miss Griffin opens the door and enters with a tray of warm water, bandages, cotton, antiseptics and towel.

"Time for dressing your wounds, " she says and keeps the tray near my feet. I gently push myself up on my elbow and scoot back to lean against the headboard.

"I can do it, " I say. I know pretty well that I can't. I can't even bend my knees what will I dress but I guess it's my instinct to say that.

"Oh no. You can't, " she says and reaches for my leg. I move it and wince a little.

"I don't like the idea of you touching my leg. You are so much older than me. I can't let you do that."

"Oh, honey. You are like my daughter. It's ok, " she gives me a warm smile.

"No, " I whine.

"Please. Let's try at least. From the next day, you'll do it on your own. How does that sound?"

Pursing my lips into a thin line, I nod. For today she said it was better if we do it in my room instead of the bathroom provided that I am having a problem in walking. She dresses up my wounds pretty well. Of course, Dylan explained everything to her. That does not have to be told. I saw when the nurse came in last evening to show him. He was literally engulfing the whole thing. Mrs Griffin was there but she was just paying attention to the stuff that she needs to keep ready.

She leaves after we are done and again I'm left alone. I am not feeling like watching a film, eating or doing anything else. It's one of those days when you don't feel good about anything and just eagerly wait for the day to get over 'cause you are bored.

I sit back again looking out of the window, my laptop open on the bed but the power is turned off. I opened it to check on the hospital, turns out Brad has handled everything. At least I would have had something to do.

All this I'm trying to do, trying to keep myself busy so that I can stop myself from thinking about last night and regretting what I did. I don't want to think about it. Why am I still thinking? Shit!

I lay back down and close my eyes. My thoughts don't stop though. They keep running through my head making it heavy and tiring me. However, I am too tired to fight them anymore.

I did take painkillers after getting my wounds dressed so there is a drowsy feeling defending making my eyelids feel heavy. I hear footsteps down the hall. Very familiar ones. The footsteps come closer and I know that he is right outside my door. I hear the door creak open. I want to look but my eyes don't agree with me. Finally, I give in to the exhaustion and drift off to sleep.

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Boring chapter 'cause I was feeling bored like Avy. 😪

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