WITH YOU- I Never Had A Choice ✔️

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

AVERY

"You got drunk?!" Meli shrieks, drawing attention towards our table. She looks at me wide-eyed, grinding her jaw. I told her everything all over again along with the way I felt and what happened on Saturday night, which I remember nothing of.

"I know. But the worst part is, I don't remember anything after that." I say in a hushed voice. Her mouth falls open.

"Woah. How much did you drink?"

"I don't know. I just kept drinking and drinking and after that everything is blurry." I must have been seriously drunk, otherwise, I don't usually have this effect.

"Shit! Did you talk to Dylan after that?"

"Nooo! He has been ignoring me since Saturday morning. I just remember seeing him on Sunday morning when I was throwing up in my room. He helped me, gave me some pills and left. I haven't seen him since. Even last night, he had dinner in his room. I don't  know what's going on..." I say and look down at the cup in my hands. I bring one finger and run it along the rim. I didn't even get the chance to thank him, let alone apologise. "I was waiting for him on Saturday night. I thought maybe I could apologize to him but...you know," I shrug at her.

"God, Avery. You've messed up real bad." Meli sits back on her seat and takes a sip, shaking her head.

"I know."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I think..." Now that this question has been asked, I need to consider everything. Lately, I've been behaving oddly. These things had stopped affecting me since long but with Dylan everything is different and that's what scares me. The only way to get things back to normal is to let this friction stand between us. "I will just let things be this way you know..." I answer after a pause.

"What? Why?" Meli cries.

"I mean, I don't really care if he is ignoring me or not." I hate lying but it's the only way to explain things right now.

"Of course you do," Meli scoffs.

"No, I don't. I hate him, " I retort. Who am I trying to fool here?

"How long are you going to be lying to yourself? That thing that you feel for him is anything but hatred." She looks at me and waits. The fact that she is right, makes it harder to continue with the lie but I can't give in. I've been feeling enough guilty lately, I can't, anymore.

"I don't know what's happening." I sigh and sit back.

"You have tortured yourself enough and now it's time for you to move on, that's what's happening." Meli reaches across the table and pats on my hand.

"I don't feel anything like that for Dylan, " I say, this time in a voice, much shaky and less confident.

"I never said you do! I am just saying you need to stop doing what you have been doing for so long." She stops talking and the sift expression leaves her face. With a serious countenance, she continues, "Tell me the reason why you think things between you and Dylan should be left the way they are?" She pauses a little. "It's Marcus, right?"

Knowing that she is right, I go silent. I quietly look up at her but say nothing. No one knows about the promises I made to Marc but everyone probably understands. Moreover, Meli has seen me hurt myself.

"Avery, you need to stop blaming yourself." She withdraws her hand and sits up straight.

"I can't!"

"Why?!"

"Because I am the one who should be blamed, " I say. I know she hates hearing this, everyone does but I can't help it.