Heart Shaped Box (Tate Langdon X Reader)

3

Note:

!!TW!! self harm and substance abuse

if everyone hates this i'll stop writing it just tell me ok lmao

*
It was in the same spot it was in last time. I could've sworn I threw it out. No. I knew I threw it out.

This time I wasn't so inclined to get rid of it. I stared at it for awhile. I didn't want to do anything. I used to cut myself when I was younger, but I got better, I had been clean for a year now. But still as I gazed at it the thoughts of school came rushing back, the feelings of loneliness, desperation, one scar wouldn't really matter would it? I know people glorify suicide, make it sound all deep like I am, but truthfully it's just an empty hole inside me and if I knew how to make it go away I would.

I hesitantly picked it up and pressed the blade through my skin. I saw the blood leave and I felt relieved by it. Against my word I cut a couple more times and stopped. I cleaned up and put on a sweater so my mom wouldn't see anything. Not that she really paid much attention anyway.

*
A couple days had passed and I hadn't seen Tate around. I missed him to be honest. He was fun to hang around and I felt like we got along really well.

Suddenly as if I summoned him he walks into my room. He always had the most comfortable looking sweaters on, I wanted to steal one.

"Moira let you in?"

"The door was open"

He smiled at me showing his dimples. God they were so attractive. What? No.

"What do you wanna do?"

"I don't really care" he replied as he sat on my bed. I joined him. Maybe a little closer than I should've.

Suddenly I remembered the green I had packed a while ago. How could I have forgotten?

"Hey, you smoke?"

"Cigs?"

"Weed."

He smirked at me and I took it as a yes. I went to my closet and pulled out the shoe box with the stuff.

I rolled some of it up into a blunt and put it to my mouth for Tate to light it.

"You know your like the only decent person around here." I said after I exhaled the smoke.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah"

"I could say the same about you."

He smiled at me and I felt an unfamiliar feeling in my stomach.

After a comfortable time in silence just smoking the weed kicked in a little bit and I had more energy weirdly.

"Let's do something!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, you're supposed to come up with the ideas." I playfully nudged him in the shoulder.

"Oh am I now?"

"Yes!"

He paused for a moment and then a cheeky grin covered his face.

"Tate...what..."

Suddenly he jumped up on me and started tickling me. I practically shrieked as I rolled around on the floor trying to get away from him.

"Tate...stop...I still have the blunt in my hand...please" I was trying to talk through my laughter.

He grabbed the blunt from me and put it out.