Misunderstood as you

what's the path?

What do I do  when words don't reach feelings. What do I say when everything I know falls apart. What do I change when the damage is already done. What do I grow in my heart when my lonely soul no longer exists. When I looked at her... When I yelled at her eyes, I could see nothing but my own demons. I don't know what to do next. What path am I supposed to choose when my life is derailed. Because I'm aware of the consequences and I'm certain of the mistakes I've made, but the road to a free life is indefinite. Around me the view is blurry, the salty tear tearing my mind apart are enough for me to feel the burning pain right in my chest. These voices, these people tell me that I won't ever be forgiven, tell me that for me there's no way called redemption, I've reached rock bottom and the only company I have in this lost space is the cold water I'm drowning in. When there's no point in fighting, when I can't find the exit to the suffering, when everyone I wanted now has left me because of my own despicable acts, when the sky has darkened and there is no hope for us to survive until the morning sun heats our tired expressions, it will always be the cold water, it will always be the unforgivable souls drowning in cold water, waiting for the night terrors to bring them back to the sorrow life, they cannot find a way out of.