Are we back together || Book 1

A new perspective

hi everyone i know it's been a while but here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it and there's definitely going to be a few surprises. Any way usual disclaimer that I probably don't need to even write anymore.

bye x

Freddie's POV
We where all getting ready to leave for the theme park but i couldn't help but look at Sam. Her outfit fit her body so well, she wore navy blue denim jeans with a tank top and her signature black leather jacket, the same exact jacket i'd brought her when we dated, which she paired black boots with. I soon dropped out of my thoughts though when she taped me on the shoulder "hey Benson quit day dreaming", "i wasn't-", "dude i'm not stupid you know anyway hurry up everyone is leaving", "oh yea let's go". We were in the car on the way to the beach and Sam was still feeling claustrophobic whenever we where in the car. She hadn't actually told me this in words but i could see it in her eyes she felt uncomfortable so i put my arm around her shoulder pulling her a little closer to me. She seemed to accept this and seemed a little better and we stayed like this the whole way to the theme park.

Once we arrived we all got out and decided who we were riding rollercoasters with as most of them where two seats but Carly being Carly had already decided and she put me and Sam together i didn't mind obviously but i have to say Carly can be quite devious sometimes. The first ride we went on was a rollercoaster with five loops and it was so much fun, me and Sam screamed the whole time and in the moment we grabbed each others hand and felt our spark. It was the spark i always got when i was around Sam it just felt like the whole room lit up.  We then went on one of those water rollercoasters and we of course got completely soaked. I was having so much fun and i'm so happy we came here today i love hanging out with Sam and being around her. Every time i'm around her i get the spark and this might sound cheesy but in a way she lights up the room when she's in it with her gorgeous blue eyes.

Sam's POV

i was so excited for today we where all going to the theme park that we went to that one time when Cat got locked in that magic box but in a way this time it would be one hundred times better because i was with Freddie. Yes i'm being all cheesy and romantic but it's true and i don't mind saying this for Freddie. I was getting ready to head out and i had kind of tried to make my outfit nice for Freddie i decided to wear the leather jacket he had brought me when we dated and i haven't worn it since i was with him it just reminded me too much about him and it hurt but i wanted him to notice and i knew he would because he always said it looked so good on me and matched my style perfectly. I think he had noticed though because he was kind of starring at me but secretly i didn't mind it. i obviously couldn't let him know this though and hid my smile snapping him out of his gaze and we all headed to the cars. Admittedly i was always a little nervous to go in spencer's car because of my claustrophobia thing but Freddie knew he just had a way and i didn't have to tell him anything for him to know. He always made me feel so much more comfortable how he put his warm muscular arm around me making me feel so much safer. If you don't know what i mean by that well when i was younger and Melanie left and i was left with just my mom she got so depressed and started getting all these terrible boyfriends and when they came over she would always lock me in the closet saying that she wanted me not to exist and stay hidden from them. Truefully it terrified me for life and being in tight spaces terrified me. It would give me these flashbacks but having Freddie close to me made me feel safe and protected and he was so caring it made feel loved again. It was a feeling i hadn't felt since we'd dated and before then well i can't remember honestly but i really didn't want to lose Freddie and him going scared me again. Once my Dad left i had to be strong i couldn't be weak so i became mean and i was horrible and hated myself and felt so alone and scared but when i met Freddie i don't know how to describe it but i felt like me again. I felt safe and protected when he was around and this completely freaked me out i didn't know how to control these feelings and i would just freak at him and bully him and i hated myself for it so much which just made me feel worse and I guess eating lots helped me feel better I mean I don't know why but it just did. Then I found out Freddie had never kissed anyone and I had a new feeling and I didn't know what it was and I hated it and I did the thing I most regret and told the whole world he had never kissed anyone and then I felt worse. This new feeling then made me tell the whole world I had never kissed anyone and then we kissed and it felt amazing. In that moment I felt like my world was complete and I felt this spark of light when I looked into his gorgeous chocolaty eyes and when his soft lips touched mine except for this strange new feeling. It took me so long to figure it out I spent days, nights, whole nights awake wondering what I was feeling and it never went away but then I finally realised what I was feeling. I was in love with Freddie Benson and this confused me in a way but then I wanted to hang out with him all the time because it felt like he was a magnet pulling me close and It was as it when I was around him I was safe. Then there was the lock in where I kissed him and I felt the Spark I had missed so much but then I ran away to a mental hospital because I was confused. I hated him but I loved him this wasn't normal but of course he found me and brought me back and I became his girlfriend. Only something I thought would happen in a dream but was now a reality and I loved him so much and still do. He always comforted me when I was crying, I would turn up at his door at these random hours of the morning and he would comfort me and hold me so close, stroking my hair and kissing away all my tears and then i'd fall asleep in his arms and always wake up still in his arms. How could someone love Someone who was so difficult. When i'd go crying to him he'd ask me but i'd never tell him why I was too scared and he always respect that and not ask even though I secretly Know he wanted to Know. I Just couldn't tell him it was to horrifying. My mom and one of her boyfriends would get really drunk and start throwing empty glass or wine bottles at me shouting at me telling me I was useless and wasteful and lazy. My mom would tell me that I was always in the way and that she wish I was never born and didn't exist because now that's all she could do I couldn't fit in that tiny closet anymore so all she could do was verbally abuse me. I couldn't tell Freddie, he would leave me and I couldn't tell Carly she would never want to be friends with me again if she knew how messed up I was so all I could do was cry to Freddie. Then it happened we broke up and this killed me, it was mutual though and he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him and I meant every word of it I loved him so much and could never love anyone the way I loved Freddie Benson. When Carly left for Italy I couldn't stay I loved Freddie too much and I couldn't I had nothing there except him but my emotions where to messed up so I left and this time I didn't say anything I just disappeared but unlike this time Freddie didn't come looking for me and this killed me but I knew it was for the best until he showed up. I thought I was over everything now having sort of started a new life but I hadn't and having him around made me want to let my walls down because when I was around him this is how I felt I felt that I could let my walls down and not have to be the strong Sam. When he put his arms around me and comforted me again i just let my walls fall and cry because i had missed this so much and when we shared a bed feeling his warmth so close to me made me feel so and told him about my claustrophobia. It really wasn't much but it made me feel better when he cuddled me close to him and when i told him about my thing with the beach he made me feel even better because he didn't judge me like i though he would he made me feel so special. This just made me want him to leave even less and li hated it but i couldn't help it because i loved him, i love him with all my heart and him leaving me again terrified me.

(1658 words)

To be continued...