the life ruiners

a bts valentine...

"Oooh kookie..."

jimin called out at the breakfast table,

Junkook looked up, a red rose was placed under his nose..

"God, please not this again.. please. This happens every year jimin!!"

"B-but.. your my valentine... wont you please just even read the card... its homemade!!" Jimin pouted

junkook sighed and opened the shitt-ily drawn card that had two awquard stick figures that in junkooks eyes seemed to have fallen on top of eachother with hearts around it.. in jimins eyes however.. it had a whole other meaning,

j-hope looked over junkooks shoulder at the card..

"God dammit he stole my design!!!!"

Hobi said with tears in his eyes and stormed off (to be continued)

Junkook opened the card.. his eyes widened at the words squashed down on the sheet, while jimin looked longingly at his luscious brown locks of hair,

It read:

Roses are red,

my heart beats for you,

you can love me back,

your what i want to do!!

"It took me 7 months and elleventy nine days to write that" jimin said proudly

Junkook got up and thanked jimin sincerely(more like sarcastically).. which almost gave jimin a seizure,

jungkook then proceeded to back his way into his bedroom and lock all twelve locks

"Im never leaving  im never leaving" he muttered

"Ooh koookieee" jimin wailed outside the door,

Jungkook pushed a wardrobe against the door for extra safety

"this should hold it.. for now.."

Meanwhile,

(When j-hope ran off crying)

Jhope ran straight to the living room with his face in his hands , he sat down balling his eyes out until he saw V making his annual deleveries , this cheered him up, V always sent cards to all the members on valentines, with diffrent messages in each,

For example in jins it said:

STOP BEING SO BEAUTIFULL!!!!!!
I'M THE VISUAL!!!
DONT MAKE ME GET THE KNIFEE..

luv ya xxxx

And rapmonsters said:

Oh namjoon,

if only you knew how beautiful you looked in candle light.. cos i do .. from my night rituals i preformed in your room the other day.. (i hope you dont mind) and yes that probably does explain the melted crayon on the cieling and dog prints on your mirror but aside from that,  your cool.. peace brotha!!

When jhope saw his, he ripped it open enthusiastically , he really couldnt wait,

He opened the card excitedly and...

turn up.

Jhope read it several times just to make sure and looked up at V in dissappointment, tears threatning his eyes again...

"Doesnt anybody love me!!??" He squealed and ran into his bedroom.

V continued on his journey to suga, suga was sleep ing (obv.) So V had to wake him up... luckily V is an expert at this.. or so he thinks he is...

V began scratching suga's upper lip using j-hopes tooth brush, Sugas eyes flung open and looked down at the manky stick that hadnt been replaced in years (que horror music here)

suga began screaming and holding a cushion over his face

"Aaaah V , what the fuck maan , aah get that thing away from me" he demanded

V threw the toothbrush out of the way and handed an envelope to suga..

"Oh yeah.. that.. er, thanks V..."

"Arent you gonna open it?"

"Yeah i will, when im not tired"

"No! You have to open it while im here, come on!! I dont have for-ever u know!! I still have 2 more to deliver pabo!!"

Suga hurriedly ripped open the envolope and read it,

suga,

i'd like to get with you.

I know your hips dont lie.

it's just i know you want me too ,

And im afraid that your not ready for this jelly cos my body's too bootyluscious for ya, but i suppose we only got one shot and we cannot miss our chance to blow(eachother) this opportunity comes once a year(feb. 14th)

Meet me in my room @9:30

Bring the XL ones ;)

"Aww thanks V"

"No problem babez"

As V walked away he heardvthe sound of snores once more, "oh i suppose he'l need his rest" he said, " at least for tonight anyway" he said throwing his head back cackling

Then he spotted jumin with a chainsaw and power drill outside jungkooks bedroom door,

"Jiminie.. whatr.. dont tell me trouble in paradise??"

"Wel... i dont like to send kick-ass valentine cards and tell  " he winked

"Oh- well, i do! Here , its from me! " V said handing him a card

Jimin opened it,

Jimin, your too sexy for that shirt, so sexy for that shirt it hurts , so from now on can you please wear less revealing skank clothes, like i know you are just trying to impress jungkook but SERIOUSLY , its getting out of hand man, so i'd appreciate if u wore sweaters from now on.. like really baggy ones,
Thanks bro.. p.s.. ur ass is still as unbelievable  as ever , i think i could die happy if u let me hit that, please? Please? PLEASE? PLEEEEAASSSEE?????
thanks for ur time sweet cakes ;)

Jimin looked up unbeliebly at V, V licked his lips at jimin and stared at his butt, growling and purring, jimin snapped his fingers to get him out of it,

V just haf one last card left.. jungkook!

V went into his bedroom and closed the door,

He went over to his windo and placed two feet out. He began scaling the building to jungkooks window,

He then slid into the room,

He saw jungkook crouched down in the corner holding his knees to his chest and rocking back and fourth,

"Im never leaving this room again,  im never leaving, -aaaaagh get away aaaah jimin please no- ahhh!!!!!!!"

"Oh, hi koookie"

"V.. how did you??"

"Shhh kookie its ok, im here to give u your card, here"

"Oh.. right.. thanks"

Jungkook opened the card the depressed way he was right now..

Hiii kook-sterrr
Be my valentine???????!!!!!
Hahaha i know it'l never be tho.. i was warned by your fiancè,

Your so cute i think u would look better by my side baby, watta you say?

P.s. jimin is gone for his afternoon nap from 1 to 3 so its safe to leave then :)
You can reward me in ANY way you like ;)

Junkook looked up slightly disgusted at v who was licking his lips,

"Oh but thanks for the info V , il open the door now so we can leave"

"Oh no, its ok kookie, i prefer the window ,"

he said backing up to the window like a tesco truck.