Entirely Different

Chapter Twenty Four : Oh, My Dear Friend - Part One

In the few weeks following your excursion to Canto Bight, things have fallen into a semi-regular pattern on the Finalizer. You're sudden and strange initiation into the Knights of Ren has all but been forgotten, your father's lack of understanding only making him more and more frustrated as he struggles to come to terms while staying stationed on StarKiller. In the first few days following your return to the Finalizer, he'd attempted to contact you ceaselessly until word came, via Snoke, that his fatherly instincts should not interfere with your training. Eventually, however, you knew you would need to face him. Answers would need to be given, when the time came.

Outside of your tense relationship with the General, it seemed your other relationships had followed suit. After returning from their meeting with the spy, both Kylo and Cardo were noticeably more reserved than usual. In fact, once back to the Finalizer, you barely had seen or heard from either of them for a solid week. Your days were long, spent primarily with Ap'lek, or Vicrul and Ushar (always as a pair) – endlessly training and even the occasional more-relaxed meetings. Eventually, some normalcy returned when the second week came about. The other knights: Trudgen, Kuruk, and Cardo reintegrated into your training sessions, having before, been swept away by Kylo for whatever reason.

But one morning, all the knights arrived to training, followed shortly by Kylo returning as well. Kylo was significantly more focused than usual, more machine than man, training constantly with very little personal time. Kylo was, unfortunately, right about the abundance of cameras guarding the Finalizer, and the two of you were forced to spend quite a lot of time apart for those first few weeks. He'd assured you, one day after training, that all would return to normal when you returned home to StarKiller. And honestly, you couldn't wait. Those weeks without him followed by the few weeks after where he was close enough but still so far – were torture. White hot torture.

Your relationships among the other knights were becoming stronger: less haphazard, and slightly more plutonic. All except for two exceptions – Kuruk and yourself remained... less than friendly, and Cardo... always friendly, unreasonably charming, but, for whatever reason, obviously avoiding you. Of course, you had expected a certain amount of awkwardness from all of the knights after your night together on Canto Bight, but by this point, all of the other knights had completely returned to normal behavior except for Cardo. You feared he hated you or regretted the things that had transpired, but you wouldn't know for certain because he skirted you every time you tried to talk to him. Kylo shrugged your concern off, told you not to concern yourself with it. And Vicrul, upon being asked for advice, recommended you give him a little space.

But what the fuck for?! Perhaps you would never know. You did as advised, gave him space and, for Kylo's sake, tried not to concern yourself with it. A very brief conversation with Ushar put your mind at ease, if only all the knights were as wise as him.

You'd just finished up training for the day, the first day all the knights were back. Cardo hadn't even done so much as grunt in your direction, and at the conclusion of the training session, he'd sprinted from the room without a glance at anyone but Kylo; and even then, it seemed to be only waiting for an indication he could leave. You'd been just about to mention a nearby planet you'd wanted to take a day excursion to. Ap'lek was ready to have your back with the pitch, ready to claim that the planet's dense rock would make for a good manipulation and levitation lesson, but Cardo was gone before you had a full sentence out. In his wake, Kylo approved the day trip – excluding himself and Cardo.

Your fellow knights didn't seem to question it, but you did, and you'd paid for it later behind closed doors. Kylo had become more withdrawn, less attentive, since he'd been back to the Finalizer. You had convinced yourself that your actions in Canto Bight had a lasting effect on your arrangement. Not, you had to remind yourself, that it was ever anything more than that in the first place. Most days, you didn't let it get to you, but the days weren't what concerned you. It was the nights. The lonely nights.