Paperthin Hymn

Hey, the author here! Just a quick note about this story. It's vague at the beginning, and the first two chapters are kind of rough, but I've been told and hopefully it gets better.  

This is about a boy who's life needs saving.  His world is in shambles, and then along comes a girl who puts it all in place. But what happens when she needs saving...from something he can do nothing about? 

I know not a lot of people are into Korean things, but, well, I am. I thought about changing it to English names to make it more appealing, but if it hadn't been for my love of Korea and this group(Big Bang), this story wouldn't exist. Because of them I've rediscovered my love for writing, something I had given up on three years ago.  Their music and lyrics made me feel more creative than I'v ever been. I feel I owe it to them and I really shouldn't take them out of my story. So I hope you understand.

Story, soundtrack, and character profiles available at:

http://paperthinhymnstory.tumblr.com

IT BEGINS WITH THE END...

 

The spring breeze, still clinging to the last chill of winter, is cool on my sweating face. My heart pounds to the beat of my jogging and my breathing is timed evenly to keep my lungs from collapsing. There aren’t very many people at the track this morning; an older couple holding hands as they slowly walked, a girl running with her little white dog on a leash nipping at her sneakers. Breaking Benjamin’s ‘Diary of Jane’ is about to make my eardrums explode, but I don’t want to turn the music down. It makes me move faster.

My phone vibrates against my thigh. I slow to a walk, my feet skidding in the gravel at first, and give myself a moment to catch my breath as I dig for it through my pocket. I glance down at the screen. I don’t recognize the number. Probably a salesman. Annoyed, I answer it anyway to tell them not to call anymore.

“Hello?” My chest is pounding and my tongue is dry. I move the mic away from my mouth so I won’t pant in it.

“Hey.”

I feel like a bucket of cold water has been dumped on me, freezing me completely. I would know that voice anywhere.

“J…Jiyong?”

“Yeah. Been a while.” His voice is toneless but rougher than I remember. He must have started smoking again. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been…good,” I say, still in awe. “How did you get my number? Where are you? Where have you been?”

He laughs but it rings hollow. “Around.”

There is a pause. My brain scrambled for some coherent question to ask like a child trying to get all his spilled marbles at once.

Jiyong clears his throat. “So…you know that thing I asked you to keep for me?”

Instantly I remembered. How could I possibly forget the torment it caused me? For months I couldn’t tear myself away from it, though through the years I had slowly managed to make the memory fade. “Yeah, I have it.”

“Well…I can come get it now.”

 I was taken aback, having given up on him so long ago. I wanted to see him and make sure he was alright, though who knows what kind of hell he’s been through. It was hell for me too. “Okay. Where are you?”

“I bought a house back home.”

This surpsises me more than anything. Why? That was the last place he had wanted to be. Had he finally accepted everything? Let it all go? My chest aches suddenly. I hope he has.

“I can come Friday, if that’s okay with you.”

I kick the gravel at my feet. “Actually I’m coming up there next week to see Omma and Appa. I can just bring it to you.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Another moment of silence. There is so much I want to say to him now. So much to ask. But I can’t bring myself to do it.

“I’ll see you then,” Jiyong says quickly, obviously ready to end the call. “Save my number, phone when you get in town.”

“Yeah. I will. Bye.” I hang up after hearing the line disconnect.

I stand there a moment, not quite believing what just happened. Jiyong actually called.

And that’s how the floodgates were opened.

Memories start pounding me, my mind reeling. Her eyes, ice skating, a fat black and white cat, walkie talkies, school lunches, tire swings, blackberries. Frogs, Chinese food, cold medicine, Christmas, babysitting, arguing, singing, reading, watching those stupid dramas, learning to knit, drawing, stories. Her. Overwhelming me.

My chest constricts painfully, my stomach suddenly nauseous. I walk into the grass and let myself sink to the soft ground. Cool dampness seeps through my sweats.

Has it only been a decade? It seems another lifetime ago, as if she had been another boy’s best friend, not mine.

It could be put that way. I’m not the same person I was then. The thought doesn’t put me at ease.

I lay back, hands behind my head. The patches of sky through the branches is azure, not a cloud in sight. A chill breeze tousles my hair, tickling my forehead. I close my eyes and try to think of things I have to do later in the day, but images of her flicker behind my lids, clear as a movie screen.

I fight the flashbacks at first, feeling as though someone has put a rope around my neck and is pulling as hard as they can. Tightening, my throat about to explode. I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of grass and pine.

Calm. Relax. Breathe in, out. In, out. After a few moments my fists unclench, my chest loosens.

I take my iPod out of my pocket and put my ear buds in, turning the volume up all the way. I attempt to immerse myself in the song, to lose myself in the melody, focusing on the lyrics. Again I see her face, smiling, hazel eyes bright, dark hair in a sloppy ponytail.

All I saw was her.

God, help me.