To The Me I Want To Be

You're trapped, alone, scared.

Hi Me,

I know how you are. I'm here too. You're in a hole with no way out, and it feels like you're watching everything you know and love slip away out of your reach. It's a bad feeling. We both know the situation we was in when this chapter was written, and how much it's like the trauma we experienced at college. Anxiety isn't your friend and making your actual friends seem like they don't want you, or don't care about you. 

I need you to listen to me right now though, because while it feels like all the doors in your head are locked, there is always a key through. Sometimes that key doesn't even seem like what a key normal does to us. A key could be anything from a person, a message or even a single action. Even could be yourself unlocking the door for you. 

You try way too hard, we both know that. Way too hard to be likable, be noticed, be wanted. You don't need too. All this time and effort you put into making people happy, money spent and time used for a single reaction doesn't mean anything if you're not going to have the same reaction back, or for that person to give you the same response. It's why you're worrying right now reading this, you're trapped in your head, anxiety in control and letting it tell you that your friends don't care, that they're changing and your the reason why. You have to realise this isn't true. 

I know we are confident people, but I wish we could be. So we could message and talk to all the people making us worry about what it is that's worrying us and ask for their help to change. If they don't answer, then that's your answer. They get angry and upset and make their excuses, the answer. However, if they tell you they didn't realise that's how they made you feel, explain what's going on and try harder then think about all the problems drifting away. 

Something you need to realise as well as an overthinker is that not everything you overthink about is wrong. Sometimes you're bang on about the thing that's worrying you and should have acted on. Don't let years of other's telling you you're worrying and thinking too much into things be your downfall and stop you. 

You're trapped. Alone. Scared. But you never should be feeling there isn't a way to change this. Look at what you've just read. You find the key, you talk to those people, you think about things. Sometimes the answer to the problem is the problem itself. If you're trapped, admit you can't escape and get the key to leave. If you're alone, tell people and explain why you feel this way and get them by yourself. Humans are like wolves, we're pack animals. A lone wolf may be strong, but he will never have as much bite as a pack. If you're scared, use it. Fear is normal and shouldn't be shamed but be thanked and made a success. Think of the times you used fear to your strengths. That's the true meaning of conquering your fears. 

You may be feeling these things right now, but it will never be forever. You have the power to speak out and admit this to the world, you just have to use that fear and say your mind. People care about you, they want to help you. You help so many people, all they will want to do is the same for you. I believe in you.

Me