As Fate Would Have It | ✓

chapter nine

Song for the chapter: Into You (sad version), by Ariana Grande

Kiss me, Maddison.

It was a demand, a plea...a pleaded demand. I can't believe that I had let myself fall for that.

A moment of weakness, that's what it was. I could sum it up to a moment of weakness. I didn't need any other explanation than that.

Then why'd you enjoy it so much?

I hit my head against my pillow, trying to drown out my stupid subconscious and the memories of last night, but they just kept resurfacing.

His lips were hot, soft and plump against my own. Feverish and needy. The moment I parted my own lips for him, he greedily took what I gave and it caused a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach, wrestling the butterflies. His big hands possessively gripping my neck, keeping me in place, the cool touch of his lip ring against my skin...

"Okay," I mutter as I get up from the bed.

Obviously, lying here wasn't gonna work. So I walked to the bathroom, peed and washed my hands before brushing my teeth. I looked in the mirror as I wiped my mouth with a hand towel.

I want to see you, Maddison. All of you.

I slap the edge of the sink and walk out. I trot down the stairs and open the fridge. It was nearly empty. I roll my eyes and open the pantry, but there was hardly anything, either. Saltines, tomato sauce, and pasta noodles. The fridge only held beer that my dad made sure he never ran out of, cheese, orange juice and a half empty carton of milk.

Great. Grocery run day. Lovely.

I shut the fridge and make my way back to my room, shutting my door and grabbing my phone.

Maddi: Hey Kar, you busy today?

I set the phone down on the bed as I open my closet. I normally always wear the same thing, so why act like I'm gonna wear something else? I chuckle as I grabbed a pair of denim jeans and a black shirt. I changed my sports bra to an actual bra before slipping on my shirt and pants. I walk back over to my bed to look at my phone.

Karmiah: Sorry, Mads! Gotta watch the little bro :/ something up?

Maddi: Nah just wondering

I sigh as I lock my phone. Karmiah usually has no problem picking me up and hanging out with me while I get the groceries I need and driving me home. But she's busy and now I'm freaking out because I need to do this.

Shoot.

I take a breath as I calmly put my phone in my pocket and grab my brush, combing through my hair. I reach for my scrunchie, but realize freaking Ryker never gave it back. My favorite black velvet scrunchie, ugh. I opened my drawer and fished out another one, blue, and tied up my hair with it.

I grab my wallet and walked out of my room. I pause to grab dad's keys from the counter that he threw when he got in last night, or early this morning. I inhale, walking towards the garage. I open the door, eying the car carefully.

You can do this, Maddi. Stop being such a baby.

I nod at myself, taking a deep breath. I open the door, my hands shaking. I slap my hand over the other, willing it to stop shaking. I close my eyes and slide in the seat. But when I open them again, they go wide and my breathing becomes hyperventilation. All I can see is images of that day, replaying in my head over and over again.