As Fate Would Have It | ✓

chapter forty-one

Song for the chapter: Girls Like Us, by Zoe Wees

Marry me marry me marry me.

The words were nonstop in my head since he'd said them. I was in complete and utter shock—as well as embarrassment, because I was half freaking naked.

He tried to say something to me, but I completely played it off, said I had to go to the bathroom and ran. I didn't find my shirt, just pulled up my pants and ran...and like the coward I am, I hid in the bathroom.

I sat on the floor for a good twenty minutes just staring at the wall with wide eyes. He couldn't have been serious, could he? We've been dating for almost four months in total. There's no way...

I couldn't believe it to be true. So for the rest of the day, I avoided direct eye contact and serious conversation. I kept my attention on my phone and acted like I was busy, but I wasn't. I could feel Ryker analyzing me, knowing that I was avoiding the situation. But I was too scared to face it.

What if he was serious? What am I supposed to do with that? We can't just drop everything and get engaged. We're young; he's only twenty-five and I just turned twenty-three. Was that even a good age? He's got his whole life and career ahead of him. What if he finds someone who shares his passion for writing and reading and who's more beautiful? More physically fit? Sexually experienced?

Oh, God. I couldn't even think about it. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I kindly asked Ryker to take me home because I wasn't feeling well, which he didn't put up a fight.

We drove in awkward silence, my mind still reeling. What was I supposed to do? I know I loved him, so much. But I was scared. He was so good at everything. I knew I wasn't going to be the only girl who'd catch his attention.

"Thank you." I mumble when he parks in front of my apartment complex.

"Hey," he grabs my fingers. "I love you."

I smile at our interlaced hands. "I love you."

"I'm gonna be here tomorrow. No matter what."

I finally look at his eyes, which were holding back sadness. I give him a tight-lipped smile.

"Thank you, Ryker."

I gently squeeze his hand before letting it go and opening the door. I made my way over to my door and unlock it. I sigh heavily as I walk to my room, immediately heading for the shower.

I didn't want to think about any possibility of anything being ruined between Ryker and I. We were in complete bliss until a couple hours ago. And I can't handle the thought of that right now. All I could handle was the thoughts of the trial tomorrow. That's what I should be focused on, anyway.

I dress in some comfy pjs and grab my phone, walking out of the bathroom. I look at my messages, smiling at my message from Tamika.

Tamika: Get some rest, girl. We're going to kick ass tomorrow. See you bright and early!

I type a quick response and walk to the fridge. I grab some water and then a bag of chips from the pantry and sit on the couch, munching on them for a bit. I'd felt my phone vibrate a few times, but I knew it was Ryker. I wasn't ready to talk yet.

I got up and washed my hands, then returning to the tv. I spent the rest of the day watching dumb tv until it was about nine. That's when I turned it off and headed towards my room. But when I glanced out the window, I paused in my tracks. I peeked out of the window and confirmed it was, indeed, Ryker's car out in the parking lot.