As Fate Would Have It | ✓

chapter forty-four

Song for the chapter: First Day of My Life, by Bright Eyes

"Ryker."

Ryker looked so different. His body looked the same, but his face? His face was hollow, cheekbones more prominent than ever. The circles under his eyes were dark, encasing all of his eye socket. The hazel in his eyes looked dim and worn out, like he was just exhausted.

My gosh, what the heck happened to him?

"M-m—" he blinked several times. "Maddison? Is this real? Are you really here?"

I nod, coming out from behind the sink and setting the candle down.

"Yes."

The bat, that I didn't even realize he was holding, tumbled out from his grasp. He was blinking so much, like he was trying to stop himself from crying. I just wanted to reach out and touch him.

"H-how are you here?"

"I drove." I smile.

His eyes widened. "You drove?"

"I did."

"But how?"

I chuckle softly. "I did a lot while I was gone, Ryker. If you'll let me tell you."

He gives me a single nod, stepping to the side. I come out of the bathroom and decide to bypass sitting on the bed and walk over to the couch in the living room—which was spotless. I guess I owe that to him.

"You cleaned up?"

He sat across from me, his eyes glued on me like he was afraid I'd disappear. I offer a soft smile.

"Oh. Uh, yes. I did."

"Thank you."

I see something shift behind his eyes, but he blinks. His eyes travel all over my body—my hair, my face, my chest, my legs. I felt squirmish under his analyzing gaze, but I remained still.

Yeah, once I got out of my funk and realized that eating is okay in healthy amounts, I ate like a normal person. And I filled out a little more than I was. My hips grew a little wider, my thighs a little thicker, even my chest grew a little bigger. I was freaking out about it at first, but Fauna had me chant some mantra every single day since I started seeing her.

I'm imperfect in the most perfect way.

And saying it everyday surprisingly helped. Because I saw the weight gain and it hurt, but I didn't flip out on myself, mentally, as I used to. I'm me, and I can't change it. I'm a thicker, heavier set woman and I can't do anything about it. Walking in the park everyday with Owen helped slim my stomach and tone my arms, but it didn't do anything else.

I accepted who I am and that's it.

His eyes set back on mine and he actually blushed as he cleared his throat.

"I-uh, I'm sorry for crashing here. I didn't—"

"Don't be sorry," I shake my head. "It's fine, really."

It's actually kind of nice to know he was crashing here. I wonder how long for.

"Okay, so," I deep breathe. "I know how I left things was terrible. And I'm a coward for leaving the way that I did and you probably hate me for it, but I re—"

"I could never hate you, Maddison."

Hearing the confidence and finality of that statement made my cheeks flare and my stomach erupt in a fit of butterflies. Only for him. I lick my lips and chuckle softly.