Clementine

Chapter 4

I can feel my heart pounding. Pounding so loud I'm afraid New Jersey can hear it. I snap and sit up like lightning. I can't help but shudder. I have the weirdest feeling...I feel like my room is darker than it normally is at night. I look around and see my door. Closed. My door is never closed. My heart kicks it up a notch so I can't hear anything besides 'boom boom boom'. I swing my legs off the bed, stand up, and walk cautiously past my dresser and closet. I freeze. I can't move at all. I'm petrified with fear. SOMEONE IS BREATHING DOWN THE BACK OF MY NECK!!! I turn around slowly and I can just make out a black hooded figure. Then my mind clicked. Right then and there, click.(This wasn't a person. This was a thing, and this thing KILLED miss Henry. And why hasn't Renee come back? This thing. This thing took her. Took her, one of my best friends, away from me.) (I am scared out of my mind. But suddenly, I'm also filled with rage. I don't know whether to punch this thing in what I hope is a face or to scream and run away in mortal terror. Since I only have about two seconds to decide, I go with scream and hightail it out of here.) I yell, " BRADY!! AMBER!! SNOOKIE!! EVAN!! HELP!" I sprint towards my door screaming like a maniac. I reach for the doorknob, but it swings open, banging me right in the nose. I fall backwards onto the floor. Brady stumbles in demanding what the heck is going on. I try to crawl out of my room while I yell at him about the shadow man in my room. He looks up and back down at me, then up again. I'm shaking and he tells me, "Clementine! Look at me. Calm down. Deep breaths, okay? Deep breaths."
I try to mimic his breathing patterns only to end up panting again. He helps me up and studies my face.
"I-I-there was a-a-"
He hushes me and pulls me close to him. I hug him so tight I'm a little scared that I'll cut off his circulation. He kisses my cheek and says,
"You can..you know....sleep in uhh my room tonight." I open my mouth to respond, but he spits words at me rapid fire.
"I mean, only if you want to. If you don't want to, you don't have to. I'm not going to force you to or anything. I just thought since...nevermind" he trails off.
"Well, uhm thank you Brady. That would be great. I-" he cuts me off once again.
"And I really need to talk to you. I should have a long time ago but better late than never I guess." He turned and jogged down to his room. (He confuses me. There was a freaking shadow man in my room for gosh sakes. He didn't even ask me what happened. What is going on in that head?) I follow him down the hall and turn right through the foyer then left to find him on his bed. He looks uneasy but manages to tell me to have a seat. I walk in and sit down in his bed with him. He refuses to meet my eyes and says,
"As you know, me and...Sara...we were together. And I know it must have been incredibly hard to lose her. I didn't think I'd ever get over her..then I met you. I understand how completely inappropriate this is, but I've had these feelings for a while now and I think they deserve to be heard. Clem, I really like you. We've been best friends for four years, and I want to be something more than just friends with you...."
(What?! No. No way. He did not just say he has a crush on me. I have bigger problems than figuring out what I am to Brady. I mean..do I like him too? No, I can't. This is Sara's ex. I could never do that to my...sister...)
My jaw dropped wide open.
"Brady... How? What? Why? But...we aren't even the same age."
I look up at his tomato red face.
"Only by one year. Clem we can do this."
"I-I'm sorry I have to go."
I avoided his eyes and got out of the room as soon as I could.
(I feel kind of bad about it, but then again I can't like him. He's my family, I've always considered him a brother. He has no right to just come and like me.) I stalk through the whole orphanage crying, thinking, and talking to myself like I'm crazy. (Maybe I am crazy. I don't even know anymore) I walk to Renee's old room and sit down on the floor. I put my head in my knees and cry. (I'm so confused and scared and hurt. Why does this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? My mom?..she died. My dad?...he died. My sister?..she died. Me?...I survived.)

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Renee's alarm clock goes off. I look over at it and read 12:00 p.m. (I hate the alarm clocks that go off every hour they drive me insane) I should get to bed. I can't force myself to go back into my room, so I lay in Renee's bed. I don't want to see the shadow man again, so I try to stay awake. But I can just feel my eyelids getting heavy. I have to slap myself to stay awake. But that doesn't work. So I guess I could sleep a little. Just a nap. So I let go.