Yellow Mellow h.s

Chapter 12

Jess's POV

I am so fucking angry.

The point of angry which cancels out all my other emotions, diminishing the whirlwind of sadness in the past 24 hours and replacing it with fury.

I was so vulnerable and slightly drunk last night, making the stone hard walls crumble with a flick. I didn't even realise I had told Harry those things until I was back into the car and he made the comment about Rory. That's when I snapped, the hostile and stubborn Jess coming out of me and refusing to go back home with him.

You have to admit, you feel better after talking about Ale-

Fine, but now I feel even worse because I talked about it to someone who I don't even know.

Harry's aura made me easily trust him, his listening skills and comforting actions only added to this. The words and confessions practically slipped without my knowledge and I didn't regret saying them in the moment.

In the moment that is.

Now I do have regret in my bones since Harry can't control his possessive actions towards me. The acts of jealousy and possessiveness can be attractive in a sense but they have only ever been used in moments where the mood does not reflect the feelings of romance and lust. And they have also been used against someone who has been trying to break free of everyone's reign over her since she was 17.

17, the worst year of my life. Left me with raging trust issues, commitment issues, depression and the loss of my best friend. Stripped away my sanity and my perception of the world.

I realised the world is a fucked up place and the universe is cruel.

And on top of this whole Harry thing, when I came home at 3 am, after walking for about an hour, my bed was occupied by the last person I wanted to see.

Zayn.

Him and Gigi where sleeping in my bed, which confused the living fucks out of me because how would they know I wasn't going to be home tonight.

I do understand where Zayn was coming from because of my past with alcohol but he doesn't have control over why and when I drink. I wouldn't fall back into that state that I was in as a teen because I know what the can do a person, and I use the substance for different purposes now. The feeling of freeness is one of them. The adrenaline that numbs everything else and lets me be in my own world without worries and stress.

Angrily, I grabbed the stuff I would need for the meeting I am attending in less than an hour. Not even trying to be quiet and I stormed out of the apartment. I'm sure I woke someone up but at that point, I didn't fucking care.

I ended up catching the subway to Rory's place, which is about a 30 minute walk but my legs and body were dying at that point. I was way too stubborn to go to Harry's place and sleep with Niall or someone and I couldn't even sleep in my own room because Zayn was there.

Upon arrival at Rory's, my brain fought the possibility that he would be at one of his flings houses and I would end up homeless for the night with a fucking pink suit on my shoulder.

I knocked on the door and to the least of my surprise, no one answered.

Fucking manifestation.

My back slumped against the door and that's when I broke, all the built of frustration and anger bursting. I covered my face with my bag and screamed out at the top of my lungs in anger. My phone was god knows where, I was in Harry's jumper and sweats, makeup still on and nowhere to sleep.

What a great night.

I ended up falling asleep out of pure exhaustion, still pressed against the door of Rory's apartment only to wake up now, merely an hour later from the sun shining through the windows in the hallway.