I'm sorry if I hurt you

11 I cant forget 😔

I was brushing my teeth when I got a flash of Jaden and Abby.
Flash back

We went to the last high school party of senior year and I would be lying if I said I wasn't fucked up. When we got there I told my self I would only smoke so I could drive me and Jaden and Ja'Shay home. But that's not what happened.

When we first got there I had to do my job and be the plug of course high school kids at a party . Sounds like good money to me , after I hope sold all I brought I went to look for Jaden.
" hey Ja'Shay have you seen Jaden" I asked over the loud music. " what did you say?" "HAVE YOU SEEN JADEN"

   her face change as soon as she heard his name. " umm... yeah he went up stairs with Abby but I'm not too sure I'm pretty messed up you know" she tried to play it off and it worked because at the time I didn't think much of it.

    So I made my way through the crowd and headed up stairs but as soon  as I was going to reach the top one of my guys from the gang stopped me.

    " hey Y/n I got to tell you something.." he said as he slurred.
   " okay bud what is it?" " I really look up to you , you know your so badass running all this shit and you got a bf and your going to college..man your just so perfect" as he was telling me I could tell he was blushing and was nervous.

   " aww thank you so much Zach you know I wouldn't be able to do any of this with out y'all of course" and I hugged him.

     " awe thank Y/n you know your bf doesn't deserve you" I looked at him confused.
  " he's not my bf and what do you mean Zach?" " I'm pretty sure he's in there with Abby rn" he said that and my heart dropped
     " stop playin Zach that's not funny" I walked up and there we four doors I walked by all of them trying to hear Jaden. But the last door I hear he's moan " you like this I...bet Y/n doesn't make you feel like this"  I hear Abby say , this bitch really is stealing him.

       My heart broke as I hear him reply back to her " shh.. don't say her name then it makes me think about her" he knew exactly what he was doing

    And that hurt the most because he's not too drunk he's not Cross faded he knows what he's doing. I just sat there waiting for them to finish.

    When the door open they both were as pale as a ghost. " Y/n I can explain we didn't do anything I promise" Abby said worried and scared.

    " nah it's good I hear y'all" I started to walk away and then I turned around "oh and Jaden I hope she gives you what I couldn't" his face softened once that came out my mouth.

"No y/n come back I didn't mean that I was just I in The moment I promise" I walked down stairs and got Ja'Shay and we went to my house.

   And I cried for like an hour then I had to get ready for a drop off the the next Morning.

   You might be that what the hell how is she back with him. Well I couldn't stop thinking about him and I couldn't stand to be alone.

    And yes I had Ja'Shay but she has her own shit to deal with and I don't want to be a burden on her.

   So one day I got drunk and called him and we talked and I told him that I loved him and he said he was sorry and my dumbass took him back.

Now present day

"Hey you gonna come lay down?" Jaden said in his cute bby voice. " yeah I'm washing my face real quick"

  what I'm I gonna start off with and apology or do I get mad at him , do I bring up Abby , that I'm not his gf ? Okay y/n we got this just breath.

I went to the bed and Laid on his chest. " soo can you tell me why you and Zion we kissing" he asked out of no where. I sat up

    " well if I'm being honest I was going through a lot and I didn't want to think about it so I kissed him and-" he interrupted me

    " oh so if I'm mad or frustrated I can just go and kiss and fuck girls now!" I looked at him in his eyes

   and yell at the top of my lungs. " don't be playin that victim shit with me Jaden, you hurt me first you're the one who broke my heart in the first place!"

    He looked scared I've never really yelled at him this loud. " dont forget you were the one fucking people when you were mad, and so what I kissed him at least I didn't fuck him!" 

He tried to speak " I-"    

   " no none of that I'm sorry it was in the past bullshit either, don't you think it hurts me to know that you might do that again and did you ever once think what that did to me huh.. I bet you didn't I got too much shit going on the be think about your dumbass." I got up and stormed out the room. 

   I was In The living room then Jaden and in his eyes were red and puffy.

   " I'm sorry I really am and Ik what I did was fucked up but when I saw you with Zion it made me so mad , and Ik you're tried of me but we're all each other gots y/n"

   I mean he is right but do I even want to keep this complicated what ever this is going on.

  " Jaden do you think we could be friends like actual friends not friends with benefits?"

  He looked at me and looked so hurt

   " y/n if I'm being honest I can't do that... I love you too much just to watch you with other guys and see you be happy with someone"

I reached for his hand and looked into his eyes. " love Ik it going to be hard but I don't think that we are good for each other, we haven't even dated and we've hurt each other so much already"

  he started to cry " so all those special moments and all the things that we have together are gone!"

    " no there not and I'm always going to love you but I think we would be best as friends yk love" he smiled

" you know for you I'll do anything, but can you do my a favor..."

" yeah what love?" He like at me deep into  my eyes

" can you at least wait a couple of weeks or a month to move on plz"

    was he really trying to control me even though we're not together.... well I mean is see were he's coming 

  " yeah sure and I want you to find your self a nice girl ok..." we hugged and we headed you our room.

  It was awkward to sleep in bed with him now it felt off. I don't know if I love him but I do know that he's was my first love and will always have a place in my heart.

  But we gotta do something about this sleeping in the same bed because if we're being friends I can't sleep next to him and not touch him.

********************************************
A/n hope you enjoyed it.