"i'm crazy but you like that" - skins

Episode 3.1

I woke up and squinted, blinded by the sun that was coming through the large windows in my bedroom.
I stretched, still feeling tired from a late night, and that's when I quickly noticed that I was alone in my bed.

I loudly groaned as I threw Cook's arm away from where it had been wrapped around my waist.
"What's your problem?" He asked, sleepily, as he opened his eyes.
I jumped out of bed. "My problem is that you're in my fucking bed. You know my rules, Cook, and you've known them for ages now."
Cook looked like he was barely listening as he gawped at my naked body. He responded without making eye contact, instead staring at my tits, "refresh my memory on those rules."
I leaned forward and shoved him hard enough that he fell off the other side of the bed. He quickly jumped up with a smile still on his face.
"We have sex and we're mates and that's it. You come to my house, you shag me, and you leave. I like sex, I don't like feelings or relationships, so I definitely don't want to wake up in the morning with you cuddled up to me, you twat." I ranted as I put the pair of underwear I'd had on last night back on. "Now get some fucking clothes on."

Cook smirked, not moving to put any clothes on his naked body. "Are you worried you're going to fall for me, princess?"
"What?" I snapped, as I grabbed an Arctic Monkeys t-shirt from my floor and pulled it on.
"I mean, why else would you be so against some Cookie cuddles? Sleeping in the same bed doesn't equal a relationship. It sounds like you're scared of getting feelings for me." He leant back on the wall, completely casually.
"I -" I went to defend my thought process, but I was cut off when I heard the footsteps coming up the steps and towards my room. "Fucks sake. Get some fucking underwear on now, James!"
Cook giggled to himself as he finally pulled on his boxers.

My mum didn't knock, as usual, before entering my bedroom.
"Oh, hello." She greeted Cook equally as awkwardly as he looked, stood there in his boxers.
"Hi, Mrs Richardson." He smiled.
My mum looked at me with a judgemental expression as she asked, "a new boy?"
"He's not that new." I told her as I pulled on some grey trackies I'd retrieved from the drawer beside me.
"Oh!" She was completely shocked. 'Not that new'. She'd never known me to keep a boy around for more than an hour, so the concept that Cook may have been around for more than a week was surprising to her. "Boyfriend?"
"No." Cook and I answered in unison.
"Oh." Her face dropped, and she looked disappointed.
I looked at Cook still stood in his boxers and sighed, "mum, can you let us get ready?"
"Oh, sure." She smiled, before closing the door behind her and heading back down the stairs.

I pulled on my socks and Cook pulled on his t-shirt in silence.
Cook broke it when he asked, "your mum didn't seem to like the idea of another boy. How many have you had up here?"
"Enough for you to know that you're not that special." I responded, grabbing his trousers from off the floor and throwing them at him.
He pulled them on as he laughed to himself. "You do always make me laugh, Josephine."
"Just come on." I snapped impatiently as I waited by my bedroom door.

Cook and I walked down the stairs and directly to my front door.
"Goodbye, Mrs Richardson!" Cook called in a friendly voice from the door, earning a scowl from me.
"Oh, goodbye!" She looked up from her newspaper at our kitchen island.
"I'll see you at college, yeah?" Cook asked.
"Sure." I nodded.
And then he leant in and whispered, "you want a 'goodbye' kiss to make your mum think you're less of a slut?"
"Fuck off, James." I shoved him by his chest out of my door and slammed it, still being able to hear his laughter after it had closed.

"That was a bit of an unfriendly way to bid 'goodbye' to your... friend. Wasn't it, Josephine?"
I grabbed a handful of dry Cheerios from the box as I sat down at the breakfast bar beside her. "Well, it's a mutual lack of respect."

And then my mother asked, "Josephine, do you think we should go and get some STD checks done?"
I covered my mouth as I choked on the Cheerios. "What?!"
She shrugged. "I'm just saying, I see boy after boy in here, never a boyfriend, I can only assume that there's more boys out there that you haven't brought back here. You've slept with a lot of boys, maybe it's best to be safe."
"Jesus, mum! You're hardly fucking Virgin Mary! Have you been checked?"
She raised her eyebrows, signalling that she was offended. "I don't flit from boy to boy with no commitment, Josephine."
"You're right. You commit to every single fucking one of the many men that you let into your pants, and then you get heartbroken every time. That's much better."
I grabbed another handful of Cheerios and walked towards the front door, ready to leave.
"Josephine!" She called after me, but I was already done with the conversation that she'd started.
"Bye." I called back, shutting the front door behind me.

***

"She asked you if you should get an STD check?" Naomi laughed in amusement.
We were sat sharing a joint that I'd made in her garden.
"Yeah, because apparently I've pretty much shagged the whole of Bristol and she thinks I'm clearly riddled."
"What the fuck triggered that conversation?" Naomi wondered, still laughing.
"She walked in my room and saw Cook this morning." I filled her in.
"Wow. He stayed over? I thought that was against your 'rules'?"
"It is. I'm still irritated. I won't up to his fucking arm around me." I ranted again.
"Is that the worst thing to wake up to?" She asked.
"Huh?" I cocked my head. She knew what I was like, and she knew what I wasn't comfortable with.
"I'm just saying... you wake up with someone you're comfortable with cuddling you and you act like you've woke up to someone holding you at knifepoint or something. Is it the worst thing?"
"Yes, it is to me!" I insisted. "I don't do relationships, Naomi. I don't do feelings!"
"Why?" She wondered, as she casually blew out the smoke from the joint.
"Because when you get feelings, you get fucked over. You trust someone, and they fuck you up. You fall in love and you get your heart broken. It's all fucking pain, whereas sex is nothing but pleasure." I explained.
"I just think it can't be that bad." She gave her opinion, which only irritated me more.
"Says you? There's clearly something between you and Emily and you can't even talk about that!" I accused.
"How is that relevant?" She snapped, just as irritated as I was now.
"I'm just saying, it's obvious that something has happened there or there is some feelings or something. Not that I'd know, I mean, we're supposed to be friends but you won't even talk to me about it."
"Probably because you keep fucking pushing and never fuck off with the questions!" Her eyes were wide with annoyance, and as usual, I didn't know why she was so sensitive when it came to the topic.
I snatched the joint off her and stood up. "You know what, Naomi? You've proved my point. I don't know what's gone on with you two, but feelings... they're fucking shit. That's why people continuously run away from them. Like you."
And I turned my back and walked out of Naomi's garden.