"i'm crazy but you like that" - skins

Episode 10.2

I was completely frozen.
Ten days after he left, and I get that phone call. I listen to that voicemail. I hadn't for a second expected to hear from him.
It was ten past midnight.
I sat on my bed, clutching at my mouth. Too emotional to think straight, too shocked to cry.

I clicked back on my phone and replayed the voice message for a second time, feeling all the emotions at once again.

I had no idea what to do. I lay back down on my uncomfortable pillow and attempted to fall back into a sleep, but my whole brain was telling me that I was a dickhead for even thinking that was a possibility at this point.

I sat up, pulled out a cigarette, and smoked it with my head stuck out the window into the cold air.

When that wasn't enough to even slightly clear the tangled mess of emotions in my mind, I tiptoed out of my room and snuck my way into Michelle's.

My sister was fast asleep, mouth-open, with a fluffy eye mask covering her eyes and her old teddy head-locked under her arm.

"Chelle?" I nudged her, with no response. "Chelle?"
She stirred awake. "Jofie? Are you okay?"
"He called."
"Cook?"
"Yeah."
"Just now?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"He didn't know." I told her in my relieved tone.
"And you believe him?"
"Yeah. I believe him." I said, honestly.
"So, where is she?" She questioned.
"He's with his dad. He's said - he's said he's not coming back. Not yet, anyway." She stayed silent, like she was thinking over the situation. "What do I do?"
She took a deep breath. "I know you love him, and I know you believe him. But he's still fucked up - several times. What's the advice that the former not-in-love Jofie would give me?"
I knew immediately. "Fuck him off."
"Yeah." She smiled. "I'm not saying you should fuck him off completely. I just think you need to take some time to think about whether he is what you really want after everything that's happened."
"Okay." I reluctantly agreed.
"Anyway, right now, I think you should sleep. Sleep on it, think about it, and then we'll go to breakfast in the morning and discuss it. Deal?"
"Deal." I gave her a smile, before trudging back to my room with my mind still full of unsolved thoughts.

I lay down and closed my eyes, but my mind continued to race. It wouldn't quieten down for long enough for my body to even consider falling into a sleep.

Just before I was about to admit defeat and get up to make a joint and go smoke outside, my phone rang again.
I checked the caller ID and answered with one eyebrow raised.

"Fred?"
"Hey." Freddie responded. "Uh, something weird just happened, and you're the only person I can really tell... or want to tell."
Had Cook rang him as well? "Spill," I instructed.

"Effy just rang." He revealed.
"Effy?"
"Yeah. She was upset. She said that Cook is with his dad. That means he's in trouble."
"You think?" I anxiously asked.
"I know."
"Cook rang me as well." I filled him in. "He said he didn't know what happened with Effy, in the woods." I paused, before Freddie had chance to speak again, and asked, "do you really think he's in trouble?"
"Yeah, I think he is." Freddie sighed. "His dad really isn't good news. I've met him before, when we were young. He's a bit of a fucking head-case."
"I have to find him." I immediately said.
"We do." Freddie corrected. He paused and then changed the subject. "Effy just told me she's in love with me. Do you think she's just lying?"
"Honestly? No, I don't." I admitted. "And I can imagine how much it's took for her to finally tell you."

Freddie sighed on the other end of the phone, clearly pent up with emotions about the declaration of love from the girl he'd been waiting to hear it from for nearly a full year.
With strength he said, "well, I don't want anything to do with her after what she did to you. We just need to find Cook."

I remembered there and then that Freddie was missing information that may vitally change his mind, and I had no intention of keeping it from him.
"Fred, we haven't spoke a lot since the incident, so I haven't explained the full story to you yet. But it's not entirely her fault."
"What?" He sounded shocked and confused.
"I'll explain on the way, okay? Let's just go. Pack your stuff. And don't worry, we'll find Effy as well." I smiled as I hung up the phone.

I frantically grabbed a bag and shoved in my phone charger, tobacco and weed, a spare jumper and the loose change that was on my drawers.

I grabbed some scrap paper and an old pen from inside and began scribbling.

CHELLE
gone to find cook. i don't need to think about it. he is 100% what i want. be back soon

I left the scrap piece of paper on top of my pillow, knowing she'd come to wake me for breakfast in eight hours, grabbed my bag, and left to find Cook.