"i'm crazy but you like that" - skins

Episode 5.1

I stood at the side of Cook's bed in his untidy dorm room, buttoning up my jeans.

"Why do you have to leave me?" He faked a whining voice, grabbing at my wrists as I finished fastening the button.
"Because you've ran out of smoke, and I want one." I answered, pulling out of his hold on my wrists and grabbing my jacket that had been flung on the floor. "You've got college anyway, don't you?"
"I'm not going there." He shrugged, lay back on his bed in nothing but his boxer shorts.
"Why?"
"Because I rarely fucking do." He responded, before adding, "and neither do you! Don't act like a martyr."
"You're right." I grinned, and then grabbed my phone from the desk beside his bed that was falling apart. "Are you busy tonight?"
"Not that I know of." He smirked.
"Will you be up for another round then?" I smirked back, gesturing subtly to his dick.
"Hell fucking yes." He smiled in a gentle voice, before unexpectedly leaning up to roughly grab me and pull me onto the bed beside him. He leant up, propped on his elbow, allowing him to look down on where I lay on his bed, gazing up into his blue eyes. "There's something about you, Jofie."
"And you don't know what it is?" I prodded him.
"Everything." He answered. He didn't smile as he responded, he just stared at me, deep into my eyes, down to my lips, and back into my eyes. I'd never seen Cook so serious, with no joking or innuendos or attitude.
"Are you going soft on me, Cookie?" I asked him quietly, as I continued to look up at him.
He broke our stare and looked down, pretending to check his dick in response to my question. And he shrugged and responded, "a little bit."
I shook my head as I laughed and then proceeded to shove him off me. "I'll see you later, yeah?" I smiled as I put my hand on the door handle.
"Yeah." And then as I turned it, he called, "Jofie?"
"Yeah?" I spun around.
"It's - it's nothing." He stammered, laying back on the bed again.
"Alright." I raised an eyebrow, curious as to what he had planned to say, but able to let it go as I exited his dorm, shutting the door behind me.

I walked home with a brisk pace, desperate to get the smoke that I desperately needed on the sunny Wednesday morning.

Halfway through my walk, my phone buzzed and I immediately checked it.

FREDDIE
want to hang out at mine?? i have smoke

I smiled as I read it, thankful that I was closer to Freddie's house than mine at that point.

TO: FREDDIE
see u in a min

***

I walked around the side of Freddie's house and to the infamous shed as he'd instructed me.
Freddie and I had talked on several occasions since we'd escaped Pandora's party, and I felt that we had a fairly good friendship going. He was easy to get along with, and we easily had a laugh.

I walked to the shed and opened the door to see Freddie smiling as he rolled a joint.

"Hey." I smiled.
"Hey!"
"Free period?" I enquired.
"Yeah." He nodded.

He licked the skin a final time and then passed it to me along with a dark blue lighter.
"You're my fucking saviour, Fred." I smiled before lighting it, and he giggled. "So, this is the shed?"
"This is the shed." He smiled proudly as he looked around.
"I can't believe that it took you to invite me here. Cook makes out like it's some exclusive macho-male den." I rolled my eyes.
"Well, it's macho-males and cool girls." He joked.
"I feel welcomed then." I smirked.

"So, where've you been this morning?" He wondered as I passed him the joint.
"Cook's dorm." I told him.
"Can either of you go one morning without a shag?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow.
"What can I say? We're animals." I joked with him, causing him to smile. "And what have you been doing?"
"Not a lot. I've been bored." He admitted.
"No getting laid for you?" I pried.
He looked away, awkwardly. "Effy hasn't really spoke to me, actually. She's avoided me since the other night at Pandora's. I think I hurt her."
"By calling her out? Don't be stupid enough to care, Fred." I emotionlessly told him.
"It's just -"

Freddie's sentence was halted by the door of the shed swinging open and revealing an unhappy Effy. She stared from me to Freddie and back again before muttering harshly, "nice," and quickly walking away.
"Effy!" Freddie called, standing up.
"I'll go." I got up before him, wanting a chance to defend myself. "Sit down."

I shut the door of the shed behind me and chased Effy to Freddie's front drive.
"Oi!" I verbally stopped her in her tracks.
"Are you trying to take him from me?" She hissed, turning to face me. "Is that how much you hate me? It won't work."
"What are you on about?" I rolled my eyes.
"You're nothing special. You think you are, but I promise you, you're not. So stop trying, yeah?" The anger was clear in her eyes.
"We're just friends." I snapped at her.
"Like you and Cook are 'friends'?" She scowled, clearly not ready to have any sort of mature conversation.
"No." I replied to her question.
And then she smirked. "Is that what it is? Trailing around after Freddie, desperate to be around him... is it because you can't get Cook?"
I rolled my eyes again. "I don't even like Cook like that."
She smirked again, even bitchier this time, clearly not believing what I'd just said. "Great. Then you won't mind that he fucked Pandora at her party on Saturday, will you?"
"Wait. What?" My voice broke as I asked, and she could read my expression, and it satisfied her. My expression that shocked even me. Because it hurt me, and she'd known it would, even before I knew. The thought of him with someone else, with someone I knew, hurt.
"You heard me. He waited until you left, he pursued her, and he had sex with her. And I bet he's ran back to you since without even bothering to tell you, hasn't he?" She snarled.
I stood and I thought about the hour before. I thought about his face being inches from mine after he'd tackled me onto the bed beside me, and I thought about his answer as he stared at me - 'everything'. I felt stupid.
I looked back at Effy who was looking at me with an evilly satisfied look, and I hated her more than every in that moment. She was everything I knew her and her brother to be, and I didn't have time for it.
"You're so scared of the feelings that you have for Freddie that you feel the need to behave like a bitter fucking psycho. You need to get a fucking grip, Effy." I hissed back at her, before storming off and away from Freddie's house.