Night calls

Chapter 3

It was five in the morning, when I finally decided to get up. I hadn't been able to sleep since four but I wanted to at least try having a normal sleep rhythm. Well, obviously it didn't work, but that wasn't entirely the fault of my fucked up sleeping schedule, rather it was Eren's. The abrupt ending of our phone call kept playing in my head over and over again, until I was sure it would drive me crazy if I'd stay in my bed a second longer. I needed something to get it outta my head and what'd be better than music and sports to do so?

I quickly got myself dressed with sweatpants, a black hoodie and my favorite, and only, pair of running shoes, kicked the door close and then started jogging on my normal route. As soon as I had left the apartment I plugged in my head phones. The music was so loud I was sure people around me could listen to it too, if there were idiots outside this early in the morning.

I crossed the last street leading in the park and started to relax a bit, while jogging underneath the brown and yellow leaves. The music was still blasting in my ears and after ten minutes my mind was finally cleared from any thought containing Eren and the call.

By the time I got back home the sun had already started to rise and the first warm sunbeams reached through the thick clouds that covered the deep blue autumn sky. I unlocked the door and stepped in. My sweat was dripping from my face but I didn't really care. I would clean afterwards as always so it wasn't a bother. I headed to the bathroom, took a quick shower and went then to the kitchen to grab something I could eat for breakfast. After that my ocd forced me to clean as usualy.

It was almost eight, when I left my apartment again, this time for work. Unfortunately I didn't realize my mobile was still on the kitchen table, were I left it for charging. The moment I went out the door it started to buzz but I didn't notice it...

I arrived at the office and started to hand out the coffee cups I bought at the store two streets away. I wasn't doing this for the other people's sake, god no, but because it was part of my job. I think I didn't really explain what my job exactly was so I am just gonna do that now. I'm working at an office also known as the local helpline for suicide. That means people who are having thoughts about taking their lives can call and the people here are trying to help. You can also call if you have a friend who needs help but doesn't want to call and you don't know what to do.

So yeah the people here are actually pretty nice and then there's me. I started „working" here two years ago, one year after I used the helpline myself...

I'll never forget the day I was standing on the edge of a rooftop, ready to take my pathetic life. It had also been a cold autumn night and I was freezing my fucking ass off. I couldn't really remember why I didn't just jump of that fucking roof but it was probably because I'd heard about this helpline only hours before I got up that building. And I might have had a bit of hope that my life could actually become better if I dialed this number. Well I wasn't entirely wrong...

I only remember that I suddenly had my phone in the hand, dialing the number I saw on the poster. And then Hanji's voice carefully led me back down the building. Since that day she would always look after me, and I'm incredibly thankful to have her. Even though I would never tell her that...

Anyway, I was about to tell you guys what I'm doing here. So you could say I'm an assistant or something like that. I'm going around helping here and there with the paperwork, go out buying coffee or cleaning the room desks or toilets. Not the best job, I know, but I'm getting paid and I also get to spend my days with Hanji, which is a curse and a blessing at the same time to be honest.

My day at the office was boring as always, and when it finally turned six I almost ran out that door. I headed back home as fast as I could, because at that point I had of curse realized my phone was missing, and I was still concerned about Eren... I just hoped he hadn't tried to call me when I wasn't there to answer it.