Spices

18 ~ I Love You. So What?

I haven't even prepared this apology in my mind. I don't know what I'm going to say to her and I don't know what I'm supposed to say to her. I don't think a simple "oopsies I'm sorry" will go over too well so I surely don't plan to do that.

I've never really apologized I guess. Sure, I apologized to Hailey just yesterday but that didn't feel near as terrifying as this one. With Hailey, I had any opportunity to say sorry but with this... she's about to get on a plane. I have to apologize and it has to be good enough for me to keep her and the apology has to be before she's supposed to board the plan. So I'm kind of in a time crunch.

Just say what you feel you need to say. Don't think about it too much just say how you feel. I've got this.

Oh my shit... I forgot you have to pay to park. But that's only if you leave your car here for a while I thought. Nevermind then, there's no need for me to pay.

I ended having to pay.

I couldn't figure out how it worked to get in for free so I just gave in and payed.

But that's not important. What's important right now is Ana.

I got out of my car and slammed the door shut before dashing into the airport. I made it past everything so now I just need to find where she is.

God, my hands have never sweat this much.

I kept running, glancing everywhere to see if she was there or not. This place is so huge... why.

Ooooo~ Olive Garden

THATS NOT WHAT IM HERE FOR!!

I need to focus more. Maybe I'd be able to if I could breathe, I though gym was worse enough.

That's when I saw it. There's the bow Ana always wears in the back of her hair. It's her!!!

But she's in line to board soon. WAIT!!!!

"Ana!" I shouted.

She turned around to look behind her and had seemed to mutter my name. She was last in line so I had some time.

"Wait!" I advanced closer to her.

"Jax," her lips dropped my name. She had gotten out of line and they called the next number. I made it up to her and rested my hands on my knees while panting, ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴏᴡ sʜᴇ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ. I placed one of my fingers up to show I needed a second or two. I lifted my head back up again to see her face and I could help but smile when I got to see how adorable she was. "What are you doing her—" I interrupted her by pulling in her waist and crashing my lips on hers.

I pulled away and kept my arm around her. "I'm really sorry, Ana."

"You came to apologize?"

"I couldn't live with the fact that I fucked you over so had to. I got so caught up in myself and all the other shitty things going on around me and took it out on you when I shouldn't have. All you deserved was for me to love you properly and I couldn't even do something as simple as that. I don't know if you'll ever forgive me bu—" before I could finish my rant of an apology, she mimicked me by interrupting with a kiss. I kissed her back but couldn't for long because my lips turned too quickly to a smile. Her mouth curved up to and she broke away from me.

"I accept your apology, Jax," she told me still holding my face in her hands.

"Thank god." I pulled her in for a hug. "I was so scared you'd hate me forever ant then I'd never see you again so—"

Ana pushed me off her. "Jax, I'm not leaving forever." She smiled at my stupidity.

"You're not?"

"I'm only gonna be gone for a month and a half. I could tell you because you wouldn't let me talk."

I, once again, couldn't stop myself from smiling and pulling her back in for another hug.

I stayed silent for a while. I don't know what else I can say to this woman I care so much for. Her perfume is also really distracting.

"I really want to be with you, Ariana. But I know how terrible of a guy I am for you and I've hurt you once and I don't want to do it again. So I think you should look for someone else. I don't understand how to have a relationship that isn't just sex but I want to have a relationship with you that isn't just sex. I just don't know how."

"Jaxson," she pushed me away once again so she could look at my face, "I don't know how to go about having a relationship either, but I want to learn how to and I want to learn with you. We can figure it out together."

I put one of my hands on the side of her face. "Ana... I love you." I smashed my lips onto hers and she only kissed me back mirroring the same amount of passion. I wanted this moment to never end. Throughout our whole "relationship", I've never felt this way. For the first time... I can finally understand why so many people have relationships beyond sex. And I've also just now realized Ana has spices that make me want to come back to her all the time.

"I love you, too, Jax." She smile and giggled.

"Last call for the flight to Oregon," noise came over an intercom.

Ana took hold of her suitcase again. "I have to go, Jaxson, sorry. But I'd love to talk more once I get back."

"I understand, you have to go." I laughed. "Yeah... of course. Umm... could you call me though when you get there?"

"It'll be the middle of the night for you, Jax."

"Well still," I defended. "The lady at that desk is kind of giving us a nasty stare so I think you should go."

Ana giggled before pecking my lips with a kiss. She ran off to go give the lady her pass. She turned back to wave at me and I gave her a single wave with a small grin on my face before she disappeared.

Only a month and a half.

I put my hands in my pockets and started walking out of the airport. Things went well and I couldn't be happier. I'm so fucking relieved. I'm only sad about the fact that I still have to wait a month and a half till I get to be with her again, and be with her for real this time.

But I don't think it'll be too long of a wait. I think I can do it. I'll be perfectly fine. I just have to think of how great it'll be when she gets back. I hope she doesn't change her mind by that point, that'd be awful.

But now I've got to go home and do nothing interesting as I wait for Ana's call... right after I get some Olive Garden.

"Sit down," Hailey sang into my ear. I sat down on the chair she'd placed out. "Close your eyes."

"Oh god, what random shit did you buy me?"

"Just close your eyes!" She complained.

I closed them and she came behind me to put a blindfold over my eyes. "Now I'm really curious to see what it is you bought."

"Shut up! Okay, give me a minute now."

I heard shuffling and a few of Hailey's whispers. Oh god.

"You ready?" She came up behind me again.

"Hell yeah," I smirked.

She removed the blindfold from my face and my eyes went wide with my mouth gaping.

"Hello, lover boy," Ana waved slightly with her other hand behind her back.

My face morphed to a smile.

The girl I love is back.