Kiss Me Slowly

iv. May 2, 2020 - Seoul (2)

WARNING: Mature content ahead. Not for young eyes. If that's not for you, you can read up to the first * to see how this turns out. What happens next is pretty obvious and can be left to your imagination. For the rest of you, enjoy the smut. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

God only knows why it's taken me so long to let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want
I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all

"Hey," he says softly. He's surprised, but his eyes look warm, taking her in from head to toe almost greedily. Something seems to click into place and there's a flash of worry in his eyes when they find hers. "Are you... is everything okay?"

"I – yes," she breathes. "Everything is fine. I know it's late. I'm sorry to just..." she trails off and looks behind him, at the inviting, dimly lit space, all her words suddenly lost now that he's standing in front of her, unbearably handsome and safe – like a warm blanket on a cold night.

"Come in."

She glances at him, at the questions hovering in his eyes, then draws in a deep breath and follows his extended arm until she's firmly ensconced in his living room.

The large room is airy and furnished more for comfort than aesthetics, but the simple, sleek lines and soothing shades of blue make it homey and beautiful. A movie is paused on his TV, and there's a faint impression of where he'd been sitting on the L-shaped couch before she arrived. She lingers on the still, blurry frame on-screen for a second, can't shake the feeling that it looks familiar, but he steps into her line of vision, and her heart kicks up a storm.

Her eyes cut to him as she squeezes the insides of her pockets, soft silk crushed between her fingers.

"Great security team downstairs," she blurts, giving him a sarcastic half-smile. "I smiled, and they almost gave me your home security code."

He laughs at her joke and she wants to climb inside the sound of it. It's been so long.

"Can't blame them," he says quietly, a smile lingering in his voice. He holds her gaze for a moment and she can feel him trying to figure her out. "Why are you here?" he breathes into the space between them, and it's so heavy she can hardly swallow past the thick knot of absolutely everything in her throat.

Don't be a coward. Do it. She berates herself even as she wonders – ridiculously – if he can see how hard her heart is pounding through her blouse.

"I tried..." her voice breaks and she stops, takes in a steadying breath, looks away from him to pull herself back together. When she meets his eyes again, they're bright with want, and mellow with patience. And God, he unravels her. "I tried so hard not to love you that I drove us both crazy." Her voice is so soft, so stuck in her throat that she's surprised he can hear her at all, but the look on his face is heartbreakingly raw and his body cants forward, almost gravitating towards her.

She holds up a hand to stop him, not nearly finished. "But I love you," she says, finally – finally – and it all comes pouring out of her like a flood. "I love you. I love that people think you have no jam, but you make me laugh more than anyone. I love how you listen to me rant for hours and still look interested in every word I say. I love the way you take care of me. I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes. I love that you flew to LA for my birthday and were okay just being my friend. I love that you waited for me." She wipes away the tears tracking down her cheeks and hardly registers that he steps a little closer, past the invisible barrier she posted with her hand. "I'm so sorry I pushed you away. I thought it would be easier, that I couldn't get hurt, but these last three months without you..."