Joanne Lee

Something not very heroic

           -Pfff, how unrealistic! I mean, who's supposed to believe this crap? I said while I was laughing. 

      Lindsey started to feel better and she approved. Ironically, I wanted something like this to happen so bad my entire life, that when it actually happened, I just knew that it wasn't real. It would've been too beautiful. I didn't even want to try it, because, even if I knew that it was just a bad joke, I would still gather some hopes deep inside me. And then, when it won't work, the disappointment would just hit me with the reality that was suffocating me, with all the things I wanted and I'll never have. But the glare in Lindsey's eyes was telling me that this was exactly what she wanted. Not to make me feel bad again, but just to try it for fun, and then find the brats that sent it to her. I couldn't say NO if she would've proposed that, because she would obviously ask 'Why not?' with her innocent face that I couldn't lie to. And to tell her that weird truth... no. Just... no.  In the next few seconds Lindsey did exactly  what I predicted she'll do.

        'Let's try this nonsense...for fun. And for science.'

       'Yeah, fine, I don't mind it...'

      Lindsey threw the iron circle on the floor and I approached her holding the letter. She pressed her thumb on it and, with a silly voice, said:

       ' Oh, unknown weird metal circle, bring me to TOS~'

      She removed and we both took a look at that circle. Nothing happened. Literally nothing. As I was thinking about that situation, I started to find it funny. But when a blue-coloured thread started to slowly ascend from the middle of the circle, it stopped being that hilarious.

          Lindsey's face lost it's color as the thin light was getting wider, finally taking the shape of a big circle that was connecting  with the one on the floor through a barely visible line. It seemed a portal or something, a light-blue one, that was spreading it's glare around the room. After a moment in that I was blocked, I realized. That was ACTUALLY real, no matter how CRAZY it was. And, as I always thought, Lindsey got to be the hero. Not me. With super-powers. Actual super-powers. Lindsey turned to me and a smile was lighting up her face.  

  'Joanne, this is real! I'm-... I'm gonna be a hero, saving people and-'

     All of the following things happened just in a few seconds. My thoughts, my actions, everything. As she was telling me all that stuff, I suddenly felt a wave of adrenaline and anger, a really strong anger, in my chest. I felt like I was BURNING. That letter should've been for ME and just for ME, the one who was truly ready to follow that path. 'But no, it's for this hypocrite worm standing in front of me', I thought. Of course, Lindsey wasn't a warm, nor a hypocrite person, but I was so furious, that I forgot about our long friendship. She turned to the portal, ready to take her first step. That was the moment in that I made the first move since the circle activated. 

         'I'm gonna be a hero...' said Lindsey almost whispering.

      I hate when I have flashbacks. I was drowning in a mix of emotions, of anger, impatience, happiness and guilt, like I already did what I was about to do, that were keeping me still like a statue, but were making me want to scream and jump at the same time. Three years ago, me and Lindsey were staying in this room,  in the very morning after my father left. I was crying, and everything seemed so dark. So shadowy. But  she was the last sunshine that always manages to get through the deepest corners of the ocean and pulls you back at the surface, to meet the whole sun. When she was helping me to study. To smile. I constantly felt like a owed her something. I constantly felt that I didn't do anything for her in the way she does for me. And yet, in the second when I said the words below, I ruined our whole relationship in less than on minute.

        'NOT IF I'M THE FIRST, YOU BITCH'

       I punched her in the face so hard that she hit the wall. I didn't even know I was that strong. Before she figured out what happened, I went trough the portal without looking back, tightly holding the letter. I stepped into the mystic, blue, fog, and made my first step to a future that wasn't made for me.