Merely Misunderstood

Chapter Forty-Six

The next few weeks passed in a blur.

I was spending more time by myself than I ever had before. Mirah hadn't spoken to me since our disagreement, and when Raylee and Cori tried to talk to me about it a few days later, I pushed them away too. I told them I needed some time away from them, and they haven't spoken to me since.

Once my fellow sixth-year Slytherins noticed I was spending more time by myself, they tried to invite me into their groups, but I always brushed them off, saying I'd rather be on my own.

I spent at least a week making it clear that I wanted to be by myself before people started to leave me alone.

By the end of September, everyone was either scared of me or intrigued by me — although there were still a few students who looked at me with curious awe as I passed them in the corridors; the story of me punching Pugface Parkinson spread like wildfire, and now they were saying things like "If they speak to me again, I might just pull a Locousa," and "They'd better back off before they end up like Pansy."

It was like when Fred and George had set off fireworks last year and then flown off on their brooms; except people considered me more of an intimidating savage rather than the absolute legends like the Weasley twins had been.

I didn't mind the attention so much — at least people knew to leave me alone.

However, there was a certain group that wouldn't leave me alone.

During Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons, I kept catching Harry, Ron, or Hermione looking at me with mingled looks of curiosity and puzzlement, as if they were trying to figure me out without coming to speak to me. It was beginning to get on my nerves; if they wanted to know something, why didn't they just ask?

But I did my best to ignore it, suppressing my feelings like I did with most things nowadays. All that mattered was getting caught up with school work, which was becoming increasingly difficult to do — all the Professors kept piling on more and more homework until eventually, we had about three essays due every day.

But hey, at least it was something to focus on. Without all this work, I would be allowed to think freely, and as soon as that happened, I hardly ever enjoyed the outcome.

So I continued on with my classes, keeping to myself and allowing the rest of the students to make what they wanted of me.

And I was fine, so long as I didn't spot Draco or Mirah in the corridors or meet their eyes in class. But every time I caught myself wishing they were there with me, I prudently reminded myself that it was better this way. If I didn't care about anyone, I wouldn't feel pain when I lost them.

Besides, I couldn't lose what I didn't have.

The first Hogsmeade trip arrived halfway through October, and I arrived at breakfast fairly early for a day off. I enjoyed being among the first to wake up; hardly anyone was in the Great Hall when the sun had yet to fully rise. And fewer people awake meant fewer people to socialize with.

But this very thought proved wrong when someone tapped on my shoulder, causing me to jump in surprise and nearly knock my mug of coffee over.

"Yes?" I asked irritably, turning to face the person whom I'd already decided was annoying. But I froze as my eyes reached their familiar faces.

"Sorry, I know you don't want us speaking to you...." Cori grimaced, looking extremely uncomfortable; she couldn't even meet my gaze.

Raylee glanced at Cori nervously, also avoiding my eyes as she said, "We just wanted to ask you if...." Raylee trailed off, and I knew I should probably try to converse with them, but having them speak to me at all was such a surprise that I sat completely frozen in my seat.