Merely Misunderstood

Chapter Forty-Four

I didn't sleep much that night.

As pathetic as it sounded, I kept having nightmares. And about Pansy, no less.

Her face leered at me from the dark, laughing her nasally laugh as she clutched a limp, doll-like Draco in her clawed hands.

"He doesn't want you anymore," she would say, over and over.

Then the ground would disappear from beneath my feet, and I would jolt up in bed, sweating profusely.

Finally, the sun dawned, and I carefully made sure I looked calm and happy despite the endless turmoil inside me before heading to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Trying to ignore the fact that Draco was nowhere to be seen, I sat across from Mirah as usual, who thankfully didn't comment on my obvious lack of sleep, and I didn't think she noticed my light and cheerful mood was a facade.

The Heads of Houses went around seeing whether everyone had achieved the necessary O.W.L.s to continue on with their chosen N.E.W.T.s, and I was relieved to be given something to think about.

I stared at the list of classes and wondered which would be appropriate for my future career... but what was my future career, exactly?

When Professor Snape reached me, my application was only half-filled out. I couldn't think of what I wanted to do after I graduated, and yet Professor Snape didn't allow me much time to give it any more thought.

"You'll need to decide before classes start, Miss Locousa," he told me in his usual bored, cold voice.

"I know," I told him, my mind whirring. I didn't even know all the career choices. I was having enough trouble focusing as it was. "I just... could you give me a few minutes to think it over?"

Snape stared at me with his brooding eyes for a long moment before he sighed, nodding curtly. "I'll come back to you shortly." And he turned and moved on to the next sixth year to my left, taking their applications from their hands and looking over them carefully.

"What classes are you taking? You know, for your career choice?" I asked Mirah, who sat across from me. I assumed Snape was going to ask her about it when he came back around because he hadn't said a word to her earlier.

Mirah shrugged, twirling her quill between her fingers. "Honestly, all I've ever wanted was to be a stay-at-home mother."

I gawked at her as she tucked her blonde hair behind her ear. "Really? You?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" she snapped, but a slight blush crept into her cheeks.

I smirked, shaking my head. "No, of course not! I just never pictured you as a mother.... Who would your husband be?" I glanced down at the Gryffindor table smugly. "Let's see... how about Fred?"

The next thing I knew, a spoon was flying at me, and I had to dodge out of the way.

I laughed at Mirah's blush, but she shook her head irritably.

"No, we ended things last year, unfortunately," she rested her chin in her hand, pouting.

"Shame," I murmured insensitively, taking a bite of the jam toast she had ordered me to eat when I joined her at the table.

Mirah rolled her eyes. "Anyway, if I don't have a boyfriend by the end of this year, I suppose I'll have to get a job. I expect I'll find work at a retail shop somewhere.... Maybe I'll be a waitress," she wiggled her eyebrows, and shockingly, I could easily picture her bustling about in a cafe or restaurant.

I returned to my breakfast quietly, trying to think of a career that would suit me. I suppose it would be thrilling to be a Curse-Breaker or an Auror, but I wasn't sure if I had what it takes to be either of those.