After Everything

Chapter Twenty-Five: Trapped

Ever since Brittany and Toby broke up, they didn't know what to title their relationship.

It was more complicated than they could have ever expected. They were family friends but not friends. They were like cousins but not cousins. They were in love but not dating. What did you title that? What were they to each other?

The situation confused Brittany. She wasn't sure what to think. Toby broke up with her and told her he wanted to stay friends - so why did he just try to kiss her at the party? Friends don't kiss friends. Brittany knew that. She wasn't sure what he wanted, and if she was being honest, she wasn't sure what she wanted either.

She caught him staring at her from across the yard. He was standing alone. So was she. She needed some time to think after their lips brushed against each other unexpectedly. What she really wanted to do was clear her head, but her legs had a different idea. She was walking towards him. She didn't know why. She wished she could stop, but she couldn't control her legs.

"Stop looking at me," she shot. Fortunately for her, her mind had a better idea than her legs. "You're confusing yourself so much that you don't even know what you want. Don't drag me into your mess."

He looked into her blue eyes. She could tell he was drunk. That made sense why he tried to kiss her earlier. He wasn't thinking straight. "I want to be friends, Brittany. I don't want to lose you."

"We're talking in circles," she told him. "Friends don't almost kiss each other."

"You're my best friend," he said, cupping her face. She felt her cheeks flush red. She tried to fight him off but his hands stayed on her face. "Why can't I be your best friend? Why does it have to be Cassie?"

She turned away. "You know why."

"Please," he whispered. There was desperation in his voice. "I can't lose you."

She turned back to him, his hands still on her face. She felt her heart rapidly beating in her chest as she looked into his eyes. He looked at her like she was the only person he ever wanted to love. She looked at him the same way. It didn't make sense to her. How could they be friends when they looked at each other like that? How could they be friends when she wanted to kiss him so badly?

She didn't hesitate to passionately kiss him, snaking her arm around his neck as she pulled him closer. He followed after her, kissing her back as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

And again, friends don't kiss. They both knew that - but they couldn't lie that there was tension between them. There had been ever since they went through puberty. The only thing they could do was push it off and ignore it.

She ended the kiss, stepping away from him. They both looked at each other like they were hungry for another kiss, but Brittany refused to let that happen - and honestly, she would rather not have that happen ever again. She couldn't do the confusion, or the tension, or being friends with him even though they were in love. It was best if they were just strangers.

Sometimes friendship didn't last forever, even if they meant they had to break a vow they once created.

She shook her head in disappointment. She thought she was so dumb for kissing him. "I don't want to play this game," she told him. "I'm not going to try to be just friends with you and then kiss you. If you don't want to date me, then that's that. We can't be anything. Not even friends."

"I love you, Brittany," he told her, but she knew he didn't mean it in the way she wanted to hear. "I meant what I said. I don't want to lose you."

"That doesn't give you the right to hold onto me until you want to be with me again. I'm not an object," she said as she frustratedly pulled at her hair. "It was a goodbye when you broke up with me. I can't do this anymore," she said as he felt tears in his eyes. "I'll miss you. I love you so much."