Mindful Fear

Chapter 3-

Nightmares wrack my body, waking me violently. In the dreams I see my father on his knees, my mother behind him, the barrel of her gun just inches from his skull. I try to tell to him, warn him, but it doesn't work. No noise comes out. When I try to run to him I can't get any closer. The image of them in the garage is fading away, darkness enveloping my eye sight. It is pitch black and I hear the echo of a gunshot ringing in the air.

I have off from school today, exam week and all. The house is vacant except for me. I walk back into the basement and look at the large chest, holding it in my hands and running the tips of my fingers across the soft felt. One of the basement steps creak and I turn around quickly, putting the chest on the work table. Standing there is my neighbor, Alice, age 45. Her face is blank and pale.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" Alice says nothing and stands there, her arms hanging by her sides, and her eyes vacant. I stand up, a curious and confused expression printed on my face.

"Alice? Hello?" I walk toward her and set my hand on her shoulder. She snaps away from my touch and swiftly grasps my forearm painfully. Her eyes grow a cold dark black, thicker than oil. Her lips are drawn back to bare her yellowing teeth.

"Hey! Let me go!", I yell as I try to squirm from her bony grasp. Her knuckles a violent white. Her eyes squint more and her grip tightens. I push her shoulder back with little force.
"Let-"
"Shut up!" She roars, her voice deep and raspy. "You have something I want, little girl." I look at her bewildered.
" I- I don't know what you're talking about!" I whine at her, anger building up in my gut. She slaps me with her other hand, and I jerk my head back. "Give me it! I want it! I want it NOW!" She screams out, splitting the corners of her mouth open. Blood trickles down the sides of her mouth and chin, pooling on the collar of her shirt.
"I push against her violently, throwing her into the cement wall. "I don't have it!" I rip my arm from her grasp, crevices of blood forming from her nails. She growls then stands up straight, cocking her head to the right, a big kiddish grim on her face. She clasps her hands together, fingers entwined, In front of her crotch, appearing like a young child. "Then I guess, I'll just have to have a little bit of fun." She giggles and pops her hips back and forth, locking and unlocking her knees. Alice flips her hair back and forth between her shoulders, her cheeks a red coat. The giggles increases in pitch. It hurts my ears and I place the palms of my hands aggressively against them. The pitch gets even higher, it morphing into a scream. Her mouth opens completely, and I hear the bone cracking and breaking as it dislocates itself from her skull. I grimace and go down to my knees, looking up at her. She continues to pop her hips. Blood is running from her eyes and ears in thick clogged turrets.

The screaming turns into a roaring, before her head bursts in a rain of guts and matter. I shield my face and feel it coat my arms. My stomach rolls violently. Alice's body collapses on the ground. I bury my face in my knees and fall asleep.

I wake an hour later, see the mess, and go over to Alice. I pick her up from beneath the arms and drag her to the large stone fireplace. I don't want to burn her corpse. Yet, I knew I couldn't explain why there was a dead woman missing her head in my basement. I stoke the fire and pay her body on it. Then I begin cleaning her skull off the rest of the room.

The smell.
Burning a body.
It's a putrid odor that turns your skin cold, shakes your stomach, and burns your eyes. I throw the waste covers towels into the flames as well and look at the scorching flesh. I turn rapidly on my heels and pound up the stairs. I slide on my knees across the hall and into the bathroom. I flip the toilet lid up and come to a halt there, where I spill my breakfast and last nights dinner. I puke until all I'm doing is dry-retching. The odor still lingering.

I look at the time. 12:30.
I have 3 hours before Hannah gets home. I take all the fans in the house and turn them on downstairs. I then call her best friend, Rose's mother and arrange her to spend the night there. I will not have Hannah in this house tonight.

The odor still lingers as night falls. I go outside and walk down the road in the pale moonlight. My mother never came home, which means she is at the bar. I good walk would do good to clear my head, anyhow. As I pass all the dark houses down the streets I wonder what their lives are like, are they as crazy as mine? Most likely not. Then why does mine have to be? It's not fair.

As predicted, she was in the bar, but she wouldn't be coming home tonight. The bar was closed and she was asleep on the pool table. A grin flashes my face at the sight. I jump at my reflection in the window. I look so drained, worn. No longer beautiful. Even my smile was scary, I wasn't the same person I'd been 4 weeks ago, not in the slightest.