Door's Gone, Use The Window

The (not so) Far, Far Range

We tumbled through the doorway and it closed behind us, as usual. I surveyed the world we'd run into. Tall, tangerine cliffs that reminded me of Wys surrounded us, and little bright pink blobs hopped around aimlessly on the ground.

Welcome to the Dry Reef of the Far, Far Range. We were in Slime Rancher.

Slime Rancher isn't that popular of a game. It doesn't have a super-deep plot, it's mostly a game for exploration. The physics engine is terrible when you get too high up, there are some pretty weird glitches, and when you beat the game there isn't that much to do: but that makes it the perfect world for me and Kreon to explore. A world where I can talk aloud to Kreon instead of keeping it in my head, a world with beautiful scenery and wildlife, and a world full of adorable (but sometimes deadly) creatures.

But best of all, it's a world where we can spread our wings. Or rather, Kreon's wings.

I unzipped my oversized parka and fully extended them. They shone beautifully as the iridescent feathers caught the light. White, shimmering with pink, orange, and yellow, like someone took a picture of a magpie's feathers and inverted the colors. I took a running start and leapt off the cliff that led to the briny Slime Sea, outspread wings catching the wind.

Flying isn't something that's easy to imagine. Sure, humans have their helicopters and hang gliders and whatever else they use to "fly", but flying with wings is a different thing altogether. I won't bore you with the details, but I will say this: It's an experience.

The waters of the Slime Sea shimmered blue, green, and turquoise, like the scales of a Sea Dragon. It was beautiful, and the only thing preventing me from diving into it was the knowledge that it was mostly ectoplasm and sodium-rich water. It was still pretty, though.

"Where should we go?" I shouted over the wind. It didn't matter how loud I talked, because Kreon could hear me in my mind, but it made me feel like I was talking to a physical being.

"Let's go to the Indigo Quarry first, then to the Moss blanket. Get the plorts from the slimes so that we can properly open the gate to the ruins, then we explore the Glass desert for the rest of the night."

"Do you think I can collect the crystals from the quarry and some glass from the desert?"

"You can try, but it might be hard to pry minerals out of the ground without proper equipment."

"Proper equipment? Can't I just take a rock and chip off a piece of crystal?"

"That's not- nevermind. Go crazy."

Cut to me hitting a crystal with a rock in the Indigo Quarry.

"Okay," Kreon said, "we need a plort from a Rock Slime, a Honey Slime, a Boom Slime, a Tabby, a Phosphor, and a Raddie. Plus five Quantum plorts for the portal."

"Raddie? Seriously?"

"Hey, those things have good nicknames. And that's rich, coming from the one who calls Rad-Boom largos 'Nukes'."

"Nevermind. So since we're in the quarry right now, we could get the Rad, Boom, and Rock plorts, then we go to the Moss Blanket and get the Tabby and Honey plorts. After that, all we have to do is wait until night, then we get a Phosphor plort, then we're set! God, I feel like a speedrunner."

"Like you could ever speedrun Slime Rancher."

"I could try!"

"Sure."

One near death experience with a Nuke later (frick off Kreon, it's a good name), we flew off to the Moss Blanket, tried to eat a mushroom, got the plorts, threw up said mushroom, then encountered a bigger problem than a stomachache.

"Frick," I muttered, staring at the Slime Gate. Up until now, we had been flying over the Slime Sea to get to the various parts of the Far, Far Range, but the Ruins Gate was inland, blocked by sheer cliffs that were too narrow to take off between.

"What now? Do we burst a Gordo?" asked Kreon.

"Can't we backtrack, take flight, and land on top of the cliffs?" I suggested. "Then we walk on top of the cliffs to reach the gate."

"You know how the physics are in Slime Rancher. When you get too high up, your camera sinks basically to the ground. What if that means your character shrinks or something?"

"Relax, it's just a bug. We'll be fine," I told her, already walking back to a more open area of the jungle. I crouched low, then jumped into the air, flapping wildly to gain height without a proper take off point. The only wind in the jungle was a soft breeze, so by the time I got on top of the cliffs, I was breathing heavily.

"Fat," Kreon joked.

"It's not fat, it's my extraordinarily dense muscles," I retorted. "And this is your body, so you're calling yourself fat." That shut her up fast.

I hiked over the ledges on top of the cliffs and glided down to the Ruins Gate. I inserted the plorts I had on hand into the respective statues, hearing the angelic "Ahh!" of slimes (Where was that even coming from?) Then we waited for nightfall.

As the moon slowly rose from the horizon, Kreon spoke again.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah, it is."

Silence.

"Much better than Earth, right?"

I made a quizzical expression. "I suppose so. Your point?"

"What if we stayed here?" I was shocked into silence.

"Think about it," she continued, "No pollution, no humans, no death, a beautiful world, with just us. Wouldn't it be nice?"

I was silent as I considered it. "No," I decided, "because of the people I would leave behind. Humanity may be terrible in general, but there are a few rare gems in the ground that you can find if you look hard enough."

"I suppose that is the true difference between us," Kreon mused, "not the difference in species, but the difference in perspective. Whenever we go on walks, I look at the sky, and you look at the ground. When we level our gazes, we can see the world around us."

"Very nice," I replied. "Want me to add that one to the quote book?"

"No, let's keep this between us."

"Alright."

One Phosphor plort later, and the angelic chorus of slimes gave one final cry (I still don't know where it was coming from) and the Ruins Gate opened. It took less than a minute to fly over the courtyard, grabbing a golden Echo I spotted along the way for good luck. I picked up five Quantum Plorts, flew through the hallway to the portal, and inserted the plorts into the statues. I took a deep breath before stepping into the portal.

The teleport was instantaneous, which gave me almost no time to adjust to the arid heat of the Glass Desert. As I stepped down from the portal and walked down the stairs leading out of the temple, immediately my attention was captured by the huge flame-shaped glass protruding from the desert floor.

Cut to me hitting the glass with a rock outside the temple. I got a cut on my hand, but it was most definitely worth it.

A we flew through the desert towards the obelisk in the center, I noticed the slime statues on the sand. They were shaped like Rock Slimes, and, sure enough, there were a few Rock Slimes wandering the barren rocks. I found some carrots and beets, got five plorts, and hunted down the slime statues. I didn't know what it did when we inserted the last plort, but if we ever go back to that world again, then I'm going straight to the fountain and drinking the Ancient Water. Kreon can't stop me.

Finally, we reached the obelisk. We flew all the way to the top and perched there, looking at the empty sands and glass sculptures below. We sat there in silence, watching the sunrise.

You know the expression, "The calm before the storm"? I've never heard a better idiom to describe that moment.